Tough Decisions

After careful consideration, Art and I have finally come to the decision to find our poor Bunny a new home. We estimated that our guilt for getting rid of him would be less than the guilt of never paying attention to him. I hope we find this to be true. Despite our love of Bunny, he just isn't suited to be in the presence of small children and that's all we'll have in our home during his bunny life span.

A couple weeks ago, my friend Robyn told me a story about how she had two kittens that needed a home and she decided to give them to her dad but she couldn't go through with it and was distraught until she realized it was because she was on her period. I laughed at her and said I surely wouldn't make the same mistake if/when I decided to find Bunny a home. Nonetheless, I have someone coming to pick him up tomorrow and I am on my period- feeling rather remorseful and second guessing my decision- trying not to cry about it. Silly me.

It's been a hard day for sure. In addition to finding Bunny's new owner today, I have arrived at the decision that I need to find a new job... AGAIN. When I started my job at Realty Concepts, I was told that after 90 days probation, my boss would pay me $100 per close and set me up as an employee instead of an independent contractor. The latter is the only reason I accepted this job. Knowing that I plan to have more children, I need to be able to get disability payments when I go on leave if I expect to survive. My boss has always been very pleased with my work and often tells me so, however, after my probation was over I brought it to her attention and she said that she isn't going to pay me $100 per close until I can do everything 100% on my own. Firstly, I can't do everything on my own- I'm not the agent. Secondly, I only work 4 hours a day. I can't do everything in only 4 hours. She pretty much went back on her word, then set an impossible standard to meet before she would keep it. As for making me an employee, she said she would start on it as soon as she got her computer set up. It has been set up for a couple weeks now so I asked her about it today and now she says she isn't going to make me an employee either. I am just seriously tired of being taken advantage of. Both the promises she made were broken and she expects perfect work and maximum effort for next to no pay.

The past year and a half have been extremely difficult for me jobly speaking. A pathetic looking string of short term part-time jobs, paying less than I have made in many years. I just want to work ONE PLACE- a GOOD PLACE- without a PSYCHO boss. Does such a place exist? I dare say it does not. I am not burning my bridge at my job yet, but I am definitely starting my search for a new job. It took about 6 months last time and I don't anticipate it being any easier this time either.

I close with a tear and a prayer for Bunny and me, that these tough decisions might be the best decisions in the end. And next time I try to deal with stuff like this while on my period, please smack me.

A Legacy of Love

After Keira was born, My mom watched her every day while I went to work. After work, I would pick her up and bring her home. One day I got to my mom's house and walked upstairs to get her. When I got there I saw my mom sitting in her chair, holding Keira, and crying. At first I was afraid something bad had happened, but when I asked her what was wrong she said, "I was just thinking about how wonderful it is to be a grandma."

Although I know there will be no doubt in her mind, I am writing this story so that someday Keira will know just how much her grandma has loved her since the day she was born.

Baby Miscommunications

Today Keira was sitting on the couch with a pencil and pad of sticky notes when I caught her chewing on the pencil.

I told her, "Don't bite that! Where are your notes?"

She pointed to her nose.

"Not your NOSE! Your notes are here!"

She pointed to her ear.

"Not your EAR! I think you need your ears checked."

She put the pencil in her armpit as if it were a thermometer... like when I check her temperature.

Silly girl. Sometimes there is just no way to avoid miscommunications with a baby.

Approaching Two

Keira is one and a half. At 32 inches tall and 24 pounds, she is at 75 percentile for her height, 50 percentile for her weight, and 200 percentile for her energy! She is absolutely loaded with it. This is one little girl who can't sit still to save her life. She is on a regular schedule with bedtime being at 10:00. She wakes up around 8:00 then takes a nap from 1:00-3:00. She just hits the ground running from the time she wakes up to the time she goes to sleep and leaves a tornado-like path of destruction everywhere she goes. No mother likes when their child gets sick, but I do cherish when she is because it's the only time she is slowed down enough to get her to sit in my lap and cuddle with me. Keira is a very sweet girl who loves to give us big hugs and kisses, which helps make up for the lack of cuddling.

Taking her to the store is especially challenging since she won't sit in the front of the cart and only lasts about 5-10 minutes if you put her down in the main basket. Then she is either climbing out, pulling things off the shelves, or opening everything in the cart. She also won't stay in a stroller for more than 5-10 minutes. Then if I take her out, she isn't content being held- she has to be on her own two feet. This wouldn't be so bad if she would stay near me, but usually she gives me the slip at her first opportunity and gleefully dashes down the aisles, squealing all the way. I try not to notice all of the other babies her age who are sitting quietly in their carts or at church, as it just accentuates my frustration. She has no ill intention or bad attitude, but she just CANNOT physically stay still. It goes against her very nature.

Keira is very bright and interactive and, therefore, isn't satisfied playing with toys by herself or watching TV quietly- she requires lots of interaction. She is always very happy, smart, and well behaved, but about as bossy as they come. When she wants something, she takes you by the hand and pulls you to what she wants and places your hand on it (such as a door knob) so that she can gain access. When I am trying to do something, like clean, she isn't content to watch or even to help. She has to be the only one doing it. So if I am trying to dust, I can't just hand her a rag and have her help- she wants both our rags AND the Windex. When I am trying to vacuum, she wants to be on the floor pushing it. If I am loading the dishwasher, she is either unloading everything as I put it in, climbing the shelves, or unhappily swinging from my legs. She has to be absolutely the center of whatever I am doing, which makes it next to impossible to get anything done. I sure love her to pieces, but she is definitely more challenging than your average toddler.

On request, Keira can point at her nose, ears, eyes, hair, teeth, elbow, fingers, knees, and toes. When looking at her animal book, she can point out most of the animals that you ask her. She has said and recognized several alphabet letters, although she is still far from reciting it. It seems like she is learning new words every day and has recently taken to babbling, which is quite entertaining. Here is a list of all the words she says on a regular basis that I can remember at the moment.

Bun Bun (Bunny)
Bark Bark
Kitty (Sounds like a spit-filled "gee")
Drink
Juice
Done
Dada
Mou Mou (Vivian's dog's name.)
Grandma
Baby
Bye Bye
Hi
Mama
That (Like, "Who's that?" and "I want that.")
Bo Bo (Used for hippo and elbow.)
Yeah
Book
Keys
Pink
More
I Love You
Night Night
Ball
Go Go Go!
Cuckoo
Pop!
Bath
Hello
No
Go? (As in, "Where did it go?")
Bite (As in, "I want a bite of that.")
Pee Pee
Diapie (Our word for diaper.)

Here are some pictures of Keira at 18 months old.

E. T. Sullivan once wrote, "When God wants a great work done in the world or a great wrong righted, he goes about it in a very unusual way. He doesn't stir up his earthquakes or send forth his thunderbolts. Instead, he has a helpless baby born, perhaps in a simple home and of some obscure mother. And then God puts the idea into the mother's heart, and she puts it into the baby's mind. And then God waits. The greatest forces in the world are not the earthquakes and the thunderbolts. The greatest forces in the world are babies."

A True Story

Mary had a little lamb,
Little lamb, little lamb,
Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white as snow

When I was a freshman in high school I developed a habit of missing the bus to school, which would force my mom into giving me a ride, making her late for work. She finally got fed up and told me that if I missed the bus again she wasn't going to take me and I would just have to go to detention for missing school. I really didn't want to inconvenience my mom OR go to detention so I put forth an extra effort to not miss the bus, but try as I may to avoid it, I missed it again the day of fall finals. Of all days to screw up, it had to be finals.

Everywhere that Mary went,
Mary went, Mary went,
Everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go

There was no way in heck I was going to ask my mom for a ride after how mad she had gotten the last time. Since I was one of the first people on the bus route, there was still over an hour before school started, and although I had never attempted it before, I figured I could walk the couple miles to school and my mom would never find out that I missed the bus. My plan was perfect, or so I thought, so I slipped out the back door quietly and started the long walk down the train tracks through the fields. I quickly realized that our faithful family dog, Cookie, was following me. She followed us on all our other outdoor adventures, why not this one? I knew that if I took her back home and closed her in the house she would start whining and barking to get out and my mom would see me walking to school, so I kept walking and urged, pleaded, and prayed that she would quit following me and go back home. Well, she didn't.

It followed her to school one day
School one day, school one day
It followed her to school one day
Which was against the rules.

I thought for sure they were going to call my mom and send me home. Instead, she accompanied me to each of my finals; one in biology and one in world geography. Biology went smoothly and Cookie was well behaved, but by the time world geography came she was getting restless and started whining at the classroom door in the middle of the test. The teacher made me sit outside with Cookie while I finished my test and she decided to take off running around the building. I used my multitasking skills to chase after her while finishing my test, then at long last the day was over.

It made the children laugh and play,
Laugh and play, laugh and play,
It made the children laugh and play
To see a lamb at school

Much to my dismay, the bus driver wouldn't let Cookie on the bus which meant I had to walk all the way back home. I passed by the front parking lot where I saw a family friend, Debbie Thatcher, who naturally inquired as to why Cookie was with me at school. I gave her a brief explanation, then I started my walk home.

And so the teacher turned it out,
Turned it out, turned it out,
And so the teacher turned it out,
But still it lingered near

When I finally got home, I was exhausted. The school was much farther on foot than it seemed and I had gone to school with no lunch money, but I did it- finished my finals and fooled my mom. I was quite content... until my mom called and, while attempting not to laugh, told me she knew what I had done! How did she know?! I went through all that trouble and thought I was so sly, but she found out anyway! Thankfully my mom has a good sense of humor and waived my punishments, knowing that a walk to Central West and back was punishment enough, but she wouldn't reveal her informant. After hours of contemplation, I realized that Debbie ratted me out. I guess it was just too funny to keep to herself.

And waited patiently about,
Patiently about, patiently about,
And waited patiently about
Till Mary did appear

After that experience, "Mary Had a Little Lamb" has a whole new meaning for me. I can sympathize with Mary in ways I never anticipated and I certainly wouldn't be surprised if it was based on a true story. Cookie passed away a few years ago, but I will never forget her day at school.

"Why does the lamb love Mary so?"
Love Mary so? Love Mary so?
"Why does the lamb love Mary so?"
The eager children cry

"Why, Mary loves the lamb, you know."
Loves the lamb, you know, loves the lamb, you know
"Why, Mary loves the lamb, you know."
The teacher did reply

Return of "Baby"

My husband and I struggle to get along more than anyone who loves each other should. Whether or not he deserves an "Outstanding Husband" award varies from day to day, but one thing remains undeniable... he is an awesome father.

Most fathers naturally love their children, but Art LOVES his Baby with every ounce of his being. He is downright crazy about her. You might recall my previous post entitled "Baby" wherein I described how devastated Art was every time my mom picked up Keira so he could sleep while I worked. As a means to ease the pain of separation, he took a stuffed animal ladybug that was, at the time, approximately the same size as Keira and placed it in positions that Keira would normally be. Occasionally I came home for lunch to find the ladybug laying on the nursing pillow in his arms, in the bouncer, or in the bumbo seat. When I asked him what he was doing with the ladybug, he explained that it was "Baby."

I hadn't seen "Baby" in quite some time and had nearly forgotten all about it, then last night after a visit to my mom's house I woke Art up for work and found "Baby" tucked in bed with him. I laughed and asked him what Keira's toy was doing in our bed and his response was, "I needed my Baby."

As I said before... What a lucky girl to have a daddy who has loved her so much since the day she was born. They are still absolutely inseparable.

Cuteness

Keira's First Ponytail!

Fun in the park with Daddy.

 

Just so cute today, I had to take a picture.