You Crack Me Up

Making It

After 3 months of unemployment, I still haven't gotten so much as one interview and there seem to be no suitable jobs out there for me. If you would have asked me 3 months ago if we could make it on one income, my answer definitely would have been, "No freaking way," but somehow we're making it and somehow I became a stay at home left to save and, as long as we can keep it that way, my new job is right here at home.

Christmas this year as I previously mentioned was very sparse and consisted mostly of hand made gifts, one of which was an old toy box that I was painting for Keira. The painting process was going quite well and I had made significant progress until one day about a week or two before Christmas the paint started bubbling and cracking as soon as I would spray it on. It was just too cold and wet to be painting. On Christmas Eve, the weather seemed warm and dry so I made one last attempt to finish the toy box since it was my only present for her and the paint bubbled and cracked just as bad as before. The reality sank in that I would have no present for my baby for Christmas. I held back my tears as best as I could, closed up the garage, and went back in the house to report the bad news to my husband. That morning, I got a phone call from the bishop of our ward who told me that he had a gift card from the ward that he wanted to drop by. I didn't ask what store it was for or how much, but knowing I was in need I gladly accepted. He brought our family a Target gift card and I can't express to you how relieved I was just knowing I could get my baby a couple toys for Christmas.

Even though money has been tight for us, we have managed to be able to take a couple inexpensive overnight road trips. We drove to my dad's house in Groveland in the mountains before New Years and played in the snow.

Then this weekend we drove to San Francisco to see the Aquarium of the Bay. The Aquarium was awesome and Keira enjoyed it even though she was well past her nap time.

After the aquarium, we drove to Art's grandparents' house in Oakley to stay the night. We had a good visit with them and the rest of the family. Keira had a fun time playing with her great grandparents and even wanted Great Grandma Kathy to read her bed time story instead of me. It was really cute. Great Grandpa calls her "Traviosita" which pretty much means "Little Trouble Maker." I think it describes her perfectly.

Cousins Johnny and Hailey Spofford, Aunt Coleen Spofford, Cousin Jamie Navarro, Grandma Kathy and Grandpa George Navarro, Cousin Bekah Navarro, Art, Krysta, and Keira Martinez.

When we left Oakley, we drove about 40 minutes to Tracy to have dinner with my old co-worker/friend Pam who moved away about 2 years ago. It was like 3 awesome trips all in one weekend!

Day by day, I seem to be getting better at being a stay at home mom. I am trying to be more self disciplined, and I am getting better at keeping house and at setting routines for Keira. Recently I had become increasingly lethargic even after getting a substantial amount of sleep. I realized that I had lost a considerable amount of weight and that I am barely above 100 lbs. For my height, I should be a minimum of 25 lbs heavier than I am. I imagine that a big part of why I'm so tired is that I am so underweight and haven't been exercising, so I started a healthy reverse diet and non-aerobic exercise plan to hopefully gain at least 20 lbs. I have also been taking vitamins and I am starting to feel better already after only 2 weeks and have gained a pound or two as well.

Keira, of course, is quite fond of my constant presence at home. Since I have the time now, I have been able to establish a firm bedtime routine wherein we first pick up her toys, then she eats a yogurt (as a substitution for a bed time bottle), then we go brush her teeth and have a drink of water, then she picks out a book to read, then off to bed. Instead of holding her until she falls asleep, as Art had taught her to do, she now goes to bed awake with no trouble. She is down to only one bottle a day, and I'm sure you can guess who is responsible for keeping her on that last bottle- Daddy. Keira wouldn't miss that bottle one bit, but Art is having a hard time accepting the fact that she is growing up so fast. He feels like if she no longer drinks a bottle she won't be his little baby anymore. I told him, "She will always be your little baby- she just won't always drink out of a bottle."

Keira is still the biggest bundle of energy you have ever seen. It is impossible to get her to sit still for more than a minute. She is constantly on the move and constantly finding silly things to do...

She likes to walk around in Art's shoes. This time she put on his flip flops- both on one foot.

When you tell her how pretty or cute she is, she lifts one shoulder up and tucks her chin into it like she is shy or bashful.

I discovered she LOVES toast. I tried to give her a bite of my toast and instead she snatched it from me and started cramming the whole thing in her mouth bite by bite. She ran around the room with it, laughing and stuffing her cheeks like a squirrel.

She LOVES to call Grandma on my cell phone. I have a new phone that has an icon of all of my "favorites" and all she has to do is tap on my mom's picture enough and it will call her. My mom said she gets tons of calls and voicemails with Keira giggling in the background. About a week ago, I saw her playing with my phone and I said, "Are you calling Grandma?" and she looked up at me and said, "Yeah." It was so sweet.

She has a couple kitchen drawers and one cabinet that she is allowed to play in and she loves to get the oven mitts and put them on her hands.

She loves to read books but the only time she can hold still long enough is when she is exhausted at bed time. Her favorite books are the Dr. Seuss ABC book and It's Not Easy Being a Bunny.

She still loves to play songs on the piano. I tried to get her dressed up to take a cute picture of her, but I have come to realize that if I want to get any pictures of her smiling, I am going to have to get a new camera. My camera takes WAY too long to take the picture and by the time it does, she is across the room or making some silly face.

She has curly hair all the way around the back of her head and her ears. She is also showing a LOT of preference for her left hand and even learned how to snap all by herself a couple months ago. I have no idea how she learned how to snap, but she can do it with both hands.

I can put her hair in piggy tails now! It is not easy to get her to stay still long enough to part and comb her hair. In fact, it's a miracle I could do it.

She is a really good eater and there is not too much that she won't eat, but she has recently decided that she wants to put everything in her own mouth instead of you putting it in her mouth. She even takes the fork or spoon out of your hand and does it herself. She doesn't like raisins and won't drink milk out of anything but a bottle. She prefers juice or water.

She is 22 lbs which is 50th percentile for her weight but she has grown an inch a month since her last check up, putting her at 31 inches tall which is 75th percentile for her height. We won't talk about her 19 inch head- that's off the charts! She is starting to outgrow her size 4 shoes and she only fits wide width shoes because her feet are so chubby still.

I'd say we're definitely making it and then some. Things have been difficult for us, but it's impossible to deny how blessed we are despite our obstacles.

No Money and No Prospects

I have been jobless for over a month now and have not gotten so much as one interview. I have no money and no prospects and I don't like it! I am having to face some harsh realities...

1. I found out this week that I was denied unemployment benefits because I am not available to accept full time work. First I cried, then I got angry.

2. I don't make a very good stay at home mom. I lack self discipline when I don't have a reason (such as a job) to bathe and make myself presentable each day. I delight in a clean home and nice appearance but despise putting in the effort to obtain it.

3. As much as I love my daughter, working part time was a nice little break from my motherly duties. Stay at home moms don't get breaks.

4. I can't buy things. In a way this is a good thing because it is forcing me to be resourceful. The angel fell off the top of my Christmas tree, breaking her head into several pieces and I glued it back together. My Christmas presents this year consist of only home made things. A crocheted afghan for Art from yarn I bought 2 years ago, I am painting a toy chest for Keira that I have had since my childhood with leftover supplies from painting her crib and dresser last year, and everyone else is getting hand made scarves from scrap yarn, home made ornaments, or copied CDs and DVDs.

5. I can't go take a family portrait like I wanted to this year. A snapshot in front of the tree will have to do.

There are seriously no jobs right now and I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I might not have a job for quite some time. It's been especially hard going from thinking that everything was going to be ok because at least I could get unemployment to holy smokes I better scramble and get a job! Being unemployed is mentally straining in more ways than one, that's for sure.

Despite my many reasons for unhappiness, I know I still have all the more reasons to be happy. I still have a cute bundle of joy under (and occasionally snatching ornaments off of) my Christmas tree.

I keep failing to mention that all of the tests we had done in connection with Keira's fainting episodes came back completely normal. The doctors are not worried about her at this point, so I am putting my worry aside too. We're relieved to say the least.

Everyday Silly Things

Now that Keira is getting bigger, I decided to start taking pictures of some of the silly things she does. She may just be in her jammies with toys all over the place and laundry in the background, but I really wanted to capture her in her "everyday" mode, doing her everyday silly things.

She loves playing in boxes, especially with no socks.

She tries to climb on everything. Her left leg always goes up first.

She loves talking on the phone- real one, fake one, doesn't matter.

Even a skein of yarn can be used as a phone. She walks around saying, "Ohh!" which is short for "Hello." but "Bye bye!" is her favorite.

She loves to comb her hair and will comb yours too.

Eggnog is the best drink ever and you're not getting your cup back!

Sillies I have yet to capture:

Smoochies- She makes kissing sounds that sound like big smooches. Whenever she sees Art and I hugging up on each other, she starts in with the smoochies to tease us.

Dancing- Keira is quite the dancer. She boogies to a number of tunes, but one of her recent favorites is the "Cops" theme song... "Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?"

Big 5

5 Things I Don’t Leave the House Without
1. Keira
2. Diaper Bag
3. Cell Phone
4. Purse
5. Keys

5 Cartoons I Watched When I was Younger
1. Power Puff Girls
2. Pokemon
3. Looney Tunes
4. Rocky & Bullwinkle
5. Scooby Doo

5 Things that Terrify Me
1. Cockroaches
2. Car crashes
3. Sudden Deaths
4. Infidelity
5. Something happening to my children or my husband


5 Things I Hate/Dislike that Everyone Else Seems to Like
1. Touch screen phones
2. Onions
3. Football
4. Skinny Jeans
5. Milk

5 Things I Want to Do Before I Die
1. See my children/grandchildren grow up
2. Be financially comfortable
3. Make good progress scrapbooking
4. Go to another country
5. Build lots of happy memories with my family


5 Friends/Family I’ll Tag
1. Michelle
2. Allyson
3. Kari
4. Felicia
5. Chantel

Unemployed Part II

I got laid off today...

I was informed that my position was eliminated effective immediately. They handed me my final check and sent me on my way.

I hated that job anyway.

Syncope x 3

There are things about motherhood that you will never understand until you experience them yourself- from how much you will love and cherish your baby down to how much you will worry about them. You cherish the moments you can just enjoy the love like an escape from the worry. Then just about the time you think the worry is gone, it comes right back again in some other form. The love and worry never go away, they just grow and change just like your baby.

A month ago, Keira took a dive off of the couch and landed right on her head. She went from crying to absolutely limp and fighting for consciousness. It felt like it took forever to wake her up although it was only a few seconds. It was a weekend so I called the on-call pediatrician and explained what happened and they said they suspected that she just cried so hard it made her pass out. I wasn't content with this explanation, but I didn't see any residual effects from her fainting episode and tried not to get too worked up about it.

Since then, she has fainted two more times. Each time has been from a bump on the head, but not a hard enough bump to where she should be fainting. It is so unnerving to see her absolutely lifeless, and after having to experience that three times I decided it was time to get some real answers. We took her to see Dr. Jones today and he recommended a few tests at the hospital. The first of which was an ultrasound of her brain, then we will be going in soon to have an EKG and EEG test done.

If it is nothing to worry about, then I just want to know I have nothing to worry about and if it is something to be concerned about I need to know that too. Until then, I will just pray and try to push that worry away and take every opportunity I have to hold my little girl in my arms and bask in my love for her and think about the first words I said when she was born- the same words I will think every time I see her for the rest of my life, "She is SO BEAUTIFUL."

Running around with Grandma on Halloween. 

Helping Mommy do laundry. Or maybe trying to take a bath?

 Finally caught her in a picture with her monkey tail on her nose.

Laughing with Uncle Brenty at the car show.