No Money and No Prospects

I have been jobless for over a month now and have not gotten so much as one interview. I have no money and no prospects and I don't like it! I am having to face some harsh realities...

1. I found out this week that I was denied unemployment benefits because I am not available to accept full time work. First I cried, then I got angry.

2. I don't make a very good stay at home mom. I lack self discipline when I don't have a reason (such as a job) to bathe and make myself presentable each day. I delight in a clean home and nice appearance but despise putting in the effort to obtain it.

3. As much as I love my daughter, working part time was a nice little break from my motherly duties. Stay at home moms don't get breaks.

4. I can't buy things. In a way this is a good thing because it is forcing me to be resourceful. The angel fell off the top of my Christmas tree, breaking her head into several pieces and I glued it back together. My Christmas presents this year consist of only home made things. A crocheted afghan for Art from yarn I bought 2 years ago, I am painting a toy chest for Keira that I have had since my childhood with leftover supplies from painting her crib and dresser last year, and everyone else is getting hand made scarves from scrap yarn, home made ornaments, or copied CDs and DVDs.

5. I can't go take a family portrait like I wanted to this year. A snapshot in front of the tree will have to do.

There are seriously no jobs right now and I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I might not have a job for quite some time. It's been especially hard going from thinking that everything was going to be ok because at least I could get unemployment to holy smokes I better scramble and get a job! Being unemployed is mentally straining in more ways than one, that's for sure.

Despite my many reasons for unhappiness, I know I still have all the more reasons to be happy. I still have a cute bundle of joy under (and occasionally snatching ornaments off of) my Christmas tree.

I keep failing to mention that all of the tests we had done in connection with Keira's fainting episodes came back completely normal. The doctors are not worried about her at this point, so I am putting my worry aside too. We're relieved to say the least.