Twinkle, Twinkle Little Heart

Today I saw my baby for the first time and although it was not much more than a bean shaped blob, it was my bean shaped blob, and it was love at first sight. And right in the middle you could see the little heart beating, twinkling black and white.

At this point there are not many physical indications of the tiny life inside of me, besides my sore boobs and exhaustion, so it was fun to see that there is in fact a little being in there. The doctor measured the baby at 6 weeks and 4 days, although by the calendar I am 8 weeks today. It's possible that the baby is just "small for it's age", but my estimated due date is October 24th.

On Valentine's Day, I stayed home from work because I was sick with a cold. I had been trying to get pregnant for the past 10 months and had taken many pregnancy tests in my haste, all of which were negative. I wanted to know if it was safe for me to take cold medicine so I went to Rite Aid and bought a pregnancy test to take the next morning. That night I was awake until some time around 4:00 in the morning because I was too sick to sleep and I was fed up so I went in the bathroom to take the pregnancy test, expecting it to be negative, so that I could take some medicine and go back to bed. Much to my surprise, it was positive! No doubt about it, two dark pink lines immediately materialized in the display window, and I was home alone will no one to share the news with! Art wouldn't get home from work for another few hours and can't answer his phone at work. I texted my mom and told her the good news. She called me and we talked for a while.

I was so excited I couldn't go back to bed and since I had some time to kill before Art got home I devised a clever way to tell him I'm pregnant. Neither of us had exchanged gifts on Valentine's Day since we were sick so I decided to give him a "late Valentine's present" and wrote him a card. It said "Happy Valentine's Day. I'm pregnant!" When he got home I told him I wrote him a card since I didn't buy him anything and he read the card with a puzzled look on his face. He looked at me and said, "You're pregnant???" I said, "YES! I'm PREGNANT!" and the excitement sank in for both of us.

I still can't picture myself changing diapers every day along with everything else that goes along with motherhood. In fact it is quite overwhelming to think about it, but I still have plenty of time to get used to the idea. For now I am concentrating on finding us a 2 bedroom apartment, devising a plan for me to be able to stay home with the baby, breaking the news to Bunny that he will have to co-inhabit the living room floor, and talking Art out of naming our daughter Juliet.

It is an exciting and stressful time, but I feel better every time I think of that little twinkling heart. I am so grateful God knows that the best gifts come in tiny packages and that He was kind enough to send one to me.