Unemployed Part II

I got laid off today...

I was informed that my position was eliminated effective immediately. They handed me my final check and sent me on my way.

I hated that job anyway.

Syncope x 3

There are things about motherhood that you will never understand until you experience them yourself- from how much you will love and cherish your baby down to how much you will worry about them. You cherish the moments you can just enjoy the love like an escape from the worry. Then just about the time you think the worry is gone, it comes right back again in some other form. The love and worry never go away, they just grow and change just like your baby.

A month ago, Keira took a dive off of the couch and landed right on her head. She went from crying to absolutely limp and fighting for consciousness. It felt like it took forever to wake her up although it was only a few seconds. It was a weekend so I called the on-call pediatrician and explained what happened and they said they suspected that she just cried so hard it made her pass out. I wasn't content with this explanation, but I didn't see any residual effects from her fainting episode and tried not to get too worked up about it.

Since then, she has fainted two more times. Each time has been from a bump on the head, but not a hard enough bump to where she should be fainting. It is so unnerving to see her absolutely lifeless, and after having to experience that three times I decided it was time to get some real answers. We took her to see Dr. Jones today and he recommended a few tests at the hospital. The first of which was an ultrasound of her brain, then we will be going in soon to have an EKG and EEG test done.

If it is nothing to worry about, then I just want to know I have nothing to worry about and if it is something to be concerned about I need to know that too. Until then, I will just pray and try to push that worry away and take every opportunity I have to hold my little girl in my arms and bask in my love for her and think about the first words I said when she was born- the same words I will think every time I see her for the rest of my life, "She is SO BEAUTIFUL."

Running around with Grandma on Halloween. 

Helping Mommy do laundry. Or maybe trying to take a bath?

 Finally caught her in a picture with her monkey tail on her nose.

Laughing with Uncle Brenty at the car show.

One Year

 

What an amazing year it has been since Keira was born. I worried so much about what it would be like to be a mother and take care of a baby and I could have never anticipated how much joy I would experience.

Her first birthday party was perfect, well besides the part where she tripped and gave herself a black eye. We had a great turnout, great food, delicious cake, and an abundance of gifts.

We took her 12 month picture at the pumpkin patch down the street. Whenever Keira is in an interesting place, she almost completely ignores Art and me. She runs around giggling and there is absolutely nothing you can do to get her attention. She just zones out. For this reason, we didn't get any pictures of her actually looking at the camera and smiling. She had more intriguing things to do... like taste pumpkins.

She had her 12 month checkup with Dr. Jones and he said he couldn't be happier with her. She got to stand on the regular scale and stand against the wall to get measured instead of laying down for her measurements. She just walked down the hall and stood right up on the scale like a big girl. It just about brought a tear to my eye. Dr. Jones says she has a big head, but it's a good thing because it means she will be smart.

At the ripe age of one...

Keira is an absolute character. Her favorite thing to do is giggle and the way she does it is so funny. Hah.... ha ha... Hah! She runs around laughing like that all the time. She likes to chase the vacuum around and laugh. She laughs like that every time she sees and touches animals and just about any time she wants to be cuckoo.
She is very hyperactive. Very sweet and well behaved, but just always on the move. She is not content sitting still for any length of time so it is very hard to take her places like church and the grocery store. She would much rather be on her own two feet than in your lap, a stroller, or cart but isn't quite old enough to let loose in public places.

We recently acquired a piano from my mom since she didn't have room for it any more and Keira loves to play on it. There is no way to cover the keys and I was afraid of her wanting to bang on it all day while Art is trying to sleep so I decided to use reverse psychology to keep her from being too interested in it- instead of telling her no and trying to keep her away from it, I give her praise and extra attention every time she plays a note. So instead of constantly running for the piano because she knows she isn't supposed to touch it, she only periodically walks over to it, reaches for the keys while looking at me, and plays her few notes, smiles contentedly, then finds something else to play with. It worked well.

 

She now has 8 teeth and her one year molars are just about to poke through, so she mostly makes her meals from eating off of my plate. She is extremely interested in anything we eat or drink. She only has baby food once, maybe twice a day and eats regular food most of the time. Dr. Jones wanted me to start her on regular whole milk instead of formula and she gave it a try today. First I tried giving it to her cold in her sippy cup and she took one sip and tossed it on the floor. She won't drink anything but water or juice in a sippy cup and only formula in her bottle- not juice. She is very particular that way. So at bed time I gave her warm milk in her bottle and she couldn't tell the difference. I think I will have to get her a different kind of cup to drink milk out of if I plan on getting her off of the bottle soon.

Her favorite sounds to make besides her famous giggle are big smooches and her trademark tongue click. Her smooches are so funny because she hasn't learned how to do them with her lips, she does them by putting her bottom lip behind her top front teeth.
 

For those of you who guessed her eyes would be brown, it looks like you were right. Her eyes are still not solid brown, but it would take some type of miracle to turn them any other color at this point. They aren't as dark as Daddy's, but she definitely has soft brown eyes, accentuated by gorgeous long eyelashes.

She still likes to put her blankie on her nose and breathe in and out through her nose. She thinks it's funny if we take a corner of the blanket from her and put it on our nose then she pulls it back and puts it back on her nose. She recently started holding it out so that we can put our nose on it too. If she is carrying around her big soft blanket, she drags it between her legs, holding the corner on her nose in front. What's so funny about the nose thing is that I did the same thing when I was a baby. My family thinks I trained her to do it, but it's in her DNA.

 

I am so glad I made her and I only wish she could stay my little girl twice as long.

Happiness is Cleanliness

I have recently learned that life is a constant battle against uncleanliness, both morally and hygienically. We have to bathe every day, sweep, mop, vacuum, dust, do laundry, wash dishes, wash our cars, and brush our teeth. Every day we are fighting uncleanliness of every kind. I was feeling inadequately equipped to defend myself in this dirty battle so I armed myself with a few new weapons.

Firstly, my mom has convinved me of the cleaning power of WD-40. It not only keeps your doors from squeaking, but it cleans shower doors and keeps them shiny and clear. Also use it on your metal fixtures and it will take all the water spots off instantly. Spray it on the ring around your bathtub and it will wipe right off.

Secondly, my mom has also introduced me to Liquid Gold. It is intended to be a wood oil, but it works awesome on many other things. It will put a shine on any surface, including those shower doors, counter tops, kitchen floors... anything you want to bling.

Next, I gave in and bought a Hoover Steam Vac. I can't say enough good things about it. The carpets in my apartment were pretty nasty when we moved in and it made short work of getting them back to acceptable. The attachment on it amazed me even more than the machine itself. I used it on the floor mats in my car and it made them look perfect in an instant.

Lastly, I finally got a washer and dryer! No more hauling my clothes all over the world to wash them. I can do laundry ANY TIME I WANT and I can get other things done while I am waiting. We decided to get a used Kenmore set from Used Appliance Depot. They are in great condition and only a couple years old and we saved around $500 by going for a used set and the ones we got have a lot nicer features than the cheapest new ones do. They also have a 60 day warranty. They were just delivered today and I joyfully washed two loads of laundry. I can't even explain how relieved I am to have a washer in dryer in my house. After 3 years of hauling my laundry around, I deserve it!

I am certainly enjoying the happiness that comes from cleanliness and I wish you luck in your own battle.

The Big Fresno Fair

Last year I was walking around the fair when I was 9 months pregnant in an unsuccessful attempt to get my contractions going and this year Keira was walking around the fair on her own two baby legs. At first we tried carrying her around and pushing her around in the stroller, but she absolutely insisted upon walking most of the time, giggling all the way of course.

We had an absolutely awesome time. The weather was perfect and Baby loved everything. She soaked it all up like a sponge. I can't wait til the fair comes again next year.

Denial

I'm in denial. There is no way she is already 11 months old! Her birthday is so close I can smell it!

In the past month she...

Got 4 more teeth- all on top!

Mastered walking and can even walk in shoes now.

Took her first bubble bath and had to taste the bubbles, of course.

Learned how to point her finger.

Loves to say "Bye Bye." She likes to look at her picture on my mom's cell phone then close it and say "Bye Bye."

Only laughs when you tickle her upside down on her neck. If she's not upside down, it's not funny.

Thinks it's funny to take a picture of herself then look at the picture in the screen on the camera.

Has started taking only one nap a day in the early afternoon, but is going to bed earlier. Usually by 9 instead of 10. She sleeps until around 8:30 every morning.

Gets so excited if I get out a book and comes and sits in my lap to read it, but she is so hyperactive that she can't sit through the whole thing. She is really hard to keep still and will rarely just sit in your lap for even a minute.

Hates to be held down, even for a diaper change. Putting a diaper on her is like trying to put a diaper on an octopus- or maybe a tazmanian devil.

Has started to climb. She has made it half way up my mom's tv stand, and one time she climbed out of her high chair onto the kitchen table.

When she is tired she puts things on her nose, preferably a soft blanket, but if a blanket isn't available she will hold any object against her nose.

She has an incredible shoe fetish. We can't leave shoes anywhere within her reach or she will steal them and eat them. She is just now learning to keep her own shoes on her feet instead of in her mouth.

I asked my husband how far apart in age he envisions our children to be. His reponse was, "Well, not more than 2 years." I did the math and realized that would mean we would need to start trying around Christmas, which is only a couple months away, and be pregnant early next year. That is so soon! I honestly don't know how second children are ever born. I feel lucky to be alive. Keira is such a good baby, but she really is a handful.

As much as I want our kids to be close in age, I just can't fathom being pregnant and taking care of my live wire at the same time. Not to mention the financial aspect of the whole thing. We have lots of thinking to do on the matter, but Art is less hesitant than me. He said, "More babies means more fun!" I'm glad he's so enthusiastic. I, on the other hand, may need some convincing.

Meet Virginia

"Is that a bruise?" Everyone asks me about Keira's arm.

"No it's just a birthmark."

"You know, I have a birthmark too. Right here on my leg. I had forgotten about it until today." She was a thin woman of 92, wrinkled from head to toe with wispy white hair. She hiked up her skirt to show me the mark her thigh which I was unable to distinguish from the age spots. I couldn't imagine being so comfortable in my own wrinkled skin. It was admirable, yet disturbing.

She went on to tell me about the time she died. She had her gall bladder removed when she was in her 20s and died on the operating table. She told me her memories from the other side of the veil and how they sent her back because she still had a purpose on earth. Her subject matter of choice made me wonder if she was old and senile or if she had treasured knowledge to share.

She went on to tell me about how she knows things before they happen, citing an instance where she dreamed of a rock slide that blocked a river. A few days later, there was a rock slide in Yosemite, exactly and she dreamed. I believed her because I have the same gift of knowing things before they happen and the spirit testified as to the truth of her words. Her pale blue eyes stared straight into mine as she told me the importance of documenting important things that happen in your life- something that I try very hard to do.

She took me by both hands, looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't know why I'm telling you these things, but I know that I love you. There is something very special about you and I know I was supposed to give you this message and I love you very much."

Tears filled my eyes as I felt a connection I had never felt before. The feeling of souls communicating. Looking at her felt like I was looking in a mirror. Though we had just met, I knew we were not strangers. Her name was Virginia and I hope to meet her again.