I'm still ME.

I knew the time would eventually come where my pregnancy hormones caught up with me. If you ask Art, he would probably say that happened a long time ago, but in my opinion it wasn't until the past week or so. I have had many hormonal outbursts, but I'd like to think I'm justified in being upset about this one...

I am very frustrated with the constant criticism and unwanted advice that seems to pour from the mouths of my co-workers. Every time we have some kind of firm gathering, it quickly becomes a "let's talk about Krysta" fest no matter the occasion. We got together this week to have a birthday cake for one of the attorneys and our paralegal started in with, "Wow! Your belly is GIGANTIC!" Yes, she said gigantic to a pregnant woman. I wanted to slap her. Instead I thanked her for her kind choice of words. Then of course Tubby is always ready with her obnoxious comments, "Krysta needs a BIG piece, because she is pregnant!" So they cut me this big ol' honkin' piece of cake, which was way too sweet and in my opinion undesirable, then Tubby says, "Oh, baby doesn't like the cake???" I said, "NO... I don't like the cake." I HATE when people act like I have a tube that goes directly from my mouth to the baby's taste buds without passing GO and collecting $200. The baby gets fed through her belly button for heaven's sake! And it's nutrients mixed in BLOOD, not pureed cake! Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I don't have my own taste buds any more! Then my firm manager makes a loud remark about how much I have "popped" lately. Usually when everyone gets done picking on me, they talk about him and the baby he and his "partner" just adopted which bothers me on many levels in and of itself, but when it comes down to it I just don't have any patience for a gay man who thinks his situation is anything like mine. I couldn't bite my tongue any more and had already let a couple rude comments fly during the gathering, so I quietly excused myself to my desk where I sat angrily for the remainder of the day.

Sometimes I just want to tell people, "Yes, I'm pregnant. Yes, I have a belly. Now LEAVE ME ALONE." I just don't understand how being pregnant dissolves people's verbal restraint. I just want to BE, because I'm still ME. My friend Robyn had given me a letter "K" necklace for my birthday and mentioned she bought it for ME because everyone was kind of focused on the baby. At the time, I didn't value it's purpose, but after that day I went to work armed with my letter "K" and felt much better about life in general. We'll see how long that lasts. Probably until my next firm gathering.

On a happier note, my baby shower invitations went out this week. I'm quite pleased with them.

I have also been making some progress painting my crib and dresser with some help from Lauren, Art, and my mom's next door neighbor. I was really stressed one day about the lack of progress I'd made because of the heat and wind and, in a fit of desperation, dragged Art out to paint as the last remnants of sunshine faded away. I kept thinking, If only I had one of those shop lights, I could paint out here at night when the wind dies down and it's not so hot. I had suspicions that my mom's neighbor had one because he is always tinkering around outside, but I didn't have the courage to ask him since I don't know him except in passing. God must have heard my silent prayer, because the neighbor came outside and offered us his shop light. I definitely believe that God takes care of us through our friends. Since then, we have made a lot more progress. Now everything is primed and the black is about half done. Hopefully we can get it finished up this weekend.

Lately I feel like I'm racing the clock trying to get things done before the baby comes, or before I'm not capable of doing them any more. The reality that my due date is only 9 weeks away is certainly setting in along with the realization that I only have 5 more weeks of work before I can go on leave. And with the strange bladder issues I'm having (blood in my urine but no infection) which are causing me to contract more than normal, there is no telling if I will have to go on bed rest at any given time. I also have to pass 2 real estate tests ASAP so that I can finalize my sales license and not let all the money I've invested in my real estate education go down the drain by not finishing it in the 18 month window. Then to top it all off, all the room I have for the baby is a corner of my bedroom which isn't even cleared out yet. I really wish we could afford to move into a bigger place, but I have no idea when that day will come. I'm just trying to take everything one day at a time and do the best I can with what I have.

You may have noticed off to the right, a countdown to my 2 year wedding anniversary which is fast approaching. It's on a Tuesday this year, which is no fun, but Art would have to specifically request a weekend off if it was on the weekend. He has a much easier time requesting weekdays off because they aren't so busy. We haven't made any grand or adventurous plans due to our lack of funds and ambition, but we're talking about going out to dinner at Cool Hand Luke's or something. I thought it would be appropriate to buy him a gift of some sort so I ordered him an Adidas logo T-Shirt because he has been looking for one for a long time. I think I will also get him a bottle of Victoria's Secret Very Sexy cologne since he has been talking about that lately. I guess it's a good thing he doesn't read my blog. I can talk about him all I want! I have been obviously hinting at some opal jewelry for my anniversary present and even pointed some out in the Mervyn's ad. I thought it would be fun to have something opal since that is the October birthstone. He didn't write it down though, so I'm not sure if he will remember come September 9th. Actually, If I didn't point it out to him I'm sure he wouldn't even remember September 9th at all. That's ok though. I love him despite his mental limitations.

Bad Bunny

It's no secret that Bunny can't resist a banana chip. Whenever he gets let out of his cage, he immediately demands a banana chip before he goes about his business. We keep a bucket of them close to his cage just for this purpose but we are running low. Whenever we get down to the smaller crumbs in the bottom, we just put the bucket on the floor for him to pick a couple pieces out then we take the bucket away.

Well, this morning Art was in the living room with the sliding glass door wide open- screen and all- to enjoy the cool morning air and this meant Bunny couldn't come out to play for fear that he would form an escape plan off the patio. I saw Bunny looking all sad that he couldn't come out to play, so I lowered the banana chip bucket into his cage so he could at least have his morning treat. He took one and ate it, then took another so I reached down to take the bucket away and that little glutton dropped what he was eating, and with lightning speed lunged at the bucket and dove into it with his front feet- intentionally dumping the remaining chips into his cage. He then stood in the middle of the pile and tried to defend them with all his bunny might. Bunny discipline is Art's inherent responsibility, so I made him scoot Bunny away and re-claim his mountain of banana chips. I should have known by how territorial he is in his cage that if I gave him an inch, he would take the whole bucket!

This is how Bunny demands a treat.

On another note, I saw the most disturbing thing I have ever seen in my entire life and just have to share it with you so you can be disturbed too. Half Man Half Tree

On a much less disturbing note, my baby shower plans are coming along nicely. Since my mom is still recovering from her 2 week hospital stay, I decided to find somewhere else to have the shower so she wouldn't have to stress about getting her house ready. I remembered that my grandpa's next door neighbor landscaped her backyard beautifully and occasionally uses it for events so we asked her if we could have the shower there and she was happy to help. I have been ordering some party supplies online and have been very pleased with my purchases thus far. I bought these small ladybug balloons to make centerpieces of some sort, these ladybug favor bags, this adorable ladybug frame for one of the prizes, these paper plates, and a few other things too. I even bought a new dress to wear to the shower on sale at NY&CO.

It's going to be on September 13th, which is the week after my 2 year anniversary, at 2:00. If you are female and a friend of mine, you are invited so make sure I have your address. It should be a fun party! Meanwhile I am impatiently waiting for Walmart to restock my ladybug crib bedding online or else I'm going to have to pick a replacement! This would make me very unhappy because I already have the rug and wallpaper border that go with the one at Walmart. Stupid Walmart. That ladybug bedding is the only reason why I created a registry at that zoo of a store.

Wax On Wax Off

It's time to say goodbye to the second trimester and bring on the third. I have been trying to harness my second trimester energy to get things done before I am completely huge and miserable. So, Art and I spent the better part of Sunday washing and waxing our car to restore its beauty after Art's Woodward Park off-road adventure. I was quite impressed with how shiny it looked, especially with our new "chrome" hubcaps, so I said we should take pictures of it. Then I remembered that people have been nagging me for pictures of me where I actually look pregnant and it occurred to me that I could kill two birds with one stone and take pictures of my pregnant self in front of the shiny car. What better way to commemorate my transition into the third trimester than with my very own photo shoot with professional photographer Art "Baby Cakes" Martinez?

Art quickly realized why I never became a model- I am horrible at posing and facial expressions. Try as he may, he couldn't get me to make that "thoughtful" expression or that "fierce" look, but in the end I think we came out with a few decent pictures despite my lack of modeling talent. I modified the background to get rid of the Hostess store sign. Here I am at 27 weeks...

Here is a quick recapitulation of the second trimester:

> Gaining 20+ pounds does feel as heavy on my feet as I thought it would and it is possible to put on 4+ pounds of water in one day. I am now the heaviest I have ever been in my life at 127 pounds.

> I have "small animal dreams" almost every night. It usually involves the appearance or unusual involvement of a cat, dog, or more frequently a bunny.

> Strangers can now tell that I am pregnant, but I still get surprised when people ask how far along I am. I think, "How did they know..." Then I look down and at my belly and realize it's quite obvious.

> Art can hear the baby's heartbeat through my belly and likes to talk to her saying, "Baby!!! It's your daddy!" He also makes random noises to freak her out.

> I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I'm going to have a baby in less than 3 months and I try not to think to hard about it because I have small panic attacks. Not that I'm not happy about it, I just get worked up about the whole thing.

Lastly, I have a new hero. Keira Knightley has refused to allow the producers of her new movie, The Duchess, to digitally enhance her breasts in publicity photos for the film. Way to go, Keira! It's nice to have another representative for the A-Cup Crew. She's an inspiration. Heck, maybe I will even name my daughter after her.

Only My Baby Cakes

This has been an especially eventful week... in a bad way. You should know by now that my dear husband has a knack for wrecking cars in one way or another, so it was inevitable that he would one day wreck our new car sooner or later. That day came sooner than later.

Yesterday Art called me at 5:15 when I was just about to get off work and he was huffing and puffing and sounded all worked up. He told me that he was at Woodward Park and as he was leaving he took a turn too fast, hit the curb, launched off the road, blew a tire, and caught the grass on fire! Thankfully a bystander helped him extinguish the flames which were quickly spreading in the dead grass toward the car, then helped him put the spare tire on so he could drive to the shop. My mom picked me up from work and we met Art at Pep Boys to assess the damage and see if they could fix it. We discovered that he ruined 2 tires, 2 wheels, 2 hubcaps, and knocked the side of the bumper loose. Including a new 4 wheel alignment, we're looking at approximately $350 in damage.

Only my Baby Cakes could find some way to wreck the car all by himself AND set a fire while he is at it... I couldn't even work up the energy to be mad at him. You have to admit, that was a pretty impressive stunt! I have come to accept the fact that he is accident prone, has an attention deficiency, and he just can't help it. I have learned by experience that me yelling at him and getting upset won't help. I'm just so grateful that he didn't smack into a tree, a person, a bench, or land in one of the ponds. My husband is a high maintenance guy, just not in the normal way.

6 Quirks and Fruit Punch

Oh joy, I was tagged by Allyson to list of quirks about myself. Unfortunately (but not surprisingly), it was fairly easy.

1. I get more upset than the average person when people don't check Snopes before forwarding something ridiculous.

2. I will not sit down in a bathtub. Period.

3. I am scared to death of heights, but not rollercoasters.

4. I have a house rabbit named "Bunny". That's unusual on 2 levels.

5. I won't eat certain foods because of their texure. For example, I'm not fond of angel hair or regular spaghetti noodles but I will eat penne, shells, or the like. I won't eat lettuce on my food- only salad and only iceberg lettuce. I like the taste of onions and peppers but won't eat them because of their texture unless they are finely chopped in a salsa which I will only eat with chips because the crunchiness of the chips masks the crunchiness of the onions and peppers.

6. I do not like buying things for myself and I have panic attacks at the cash register when paying for something $50 or more (which includes buying gas, these days).

Now that I got that out in the open... I tag Kathy, Chantel, and Michelle (since I haven't heard anything outta you three for a while).

Well, I had a pretty adventurous day. It all started yesterday evening when I started getting cramps in my lower belly and lower back. I figured it was likely ligament pain and figured if I still didn't feel good in the morning I would call the doctor. This morning I was still in a significant sum of pain so I called the doctor and they wanted to see me ASAP. I picked up Art on my way just in case something was wrong. When I got there, they asked me to give a urine sample before changing into the hospital gown. Much to my dismay, my urine sample looked more like a blood sample than pee. It looked like concentrated fruit punch! It suddenly became clear to me that I had a severe bladder infection. We later discovered that the infection was causing me to have contractions.

Thankfully the contractions didn't cause any dialation and they were able to give me a shot to stop them and a prescription for antibiotics to ward off the infection. I had read that pregnancy has a sneaky way of masking the symptoms of a bladder infection, but I guess I underestimated just how sneaky it could be! I have had at least half a dozen bladder infections in my short lifetime so I thought there was no way I could get one without noticing, but I was sadly mistaken.

Well, I'm home now... resting and recovering... occasionally yelling at The Bunny because he insists on putting teeth marks in the new storage bins I bought for under the coffee table!!! Looks like my beverage of choice for the next week will be cranberry juice so I stop producing fruit punch!

Fungus Among Us

I often feel guilty that Art and I make the same amount at our jobs, because he obviously works WAY harder for his money than I do. He literally puts his blood, sweat, and tears into his job at WinCo. Every night the freight crew has to RUN for 8 hours and he comes home every day drenched in sweat and barely able to stand. He often gets cuts from the blade he uses to open boxes and from the boxes themselves, and has sandpaper textured skin from his hard earned callouses. While others have the privilege of having holiday's off work, he and the rest of the crew are working their tails off so we can sit around and barbecue. He is a shining example of the hard work and self-sacrifice it takes just to make sure there is food on the shelves for us when we go grocery shopping.

This weekend he came home with a red rash on his hands. We thought it was a friction burn from his gloves and put no further thought into the matter until the next day when the rash was even worse. We realized it was most likely something like athlete's foot... on his hands! Is there a such thing as athlete's hand? Leave it to my Baby Cakes to contract something like that! We immediately started treatment on his fungus and he is not allowed to touch me until it clears up. I am already prone to ringworm myself and am not anxious to try out athlete's foot OR athlete's hand. I propose a moment of silence to reflect on the dutiful freight crew at WinCo who endure so much to make our lives better. I'm sure if my husband didn't work at a grocery store, I would never give it a second thought. I truly do appreciate everything he does to provide for our family while I sit on my butt all day making the same money.

Speaking of money, I always have to share my excitement when I land a really good deal. I have been checking the Fresno Craigslist regularly for baby stuff, maternity clothes, and what not and last week there was a lady selling 5 skirts for a dollar each, all of them a size bigger than I ever wear but I figured there was a good chance they would fit with all of the weight I'm gaining. So I bought the 5 skirts for 5 bucks, she even brought them by my office, and the best part is they all fit! Score! Another lady was selling her entire summer maternity wardrobe for $45 and I swooped up that offer too. It was a HUGE bag of small and medium maternity clothes, all name brand. I am quite content with my thrifty findings. I expanded my maternity wardrobe exponentially considering all you could get at a maternity store for $50 is 2 pairs of pants... if you're lucky.

By way of a baby update, we still haven't agreed upon a suitable name. I'm contemplating selling the naming rights on Ebay to finance our air conditioner installation since we can't agree anyway. It would be a win-win situation! Art was talking to the baby yesterday telling her, "Tell your mom you want to be named Juliet!" He just won't give up on that name! If he is nice enough, I might let it slide as a middle name, but certainly not as the first name. I haven't been able to make any progress on painting the baby furniture because of the wind and heat, but I did manage to finish my registries this weekend. I'm trying to get things done while I'm in my second trimester and I still have energy and I'm not too uncomfortable yet. I have a feeling that the next 3 months are going to pass faster than I'd like them to!

No Turning Back From Tide

A few weeks ago I ran out of my Melaleuca special order laundry detergent and instead of ordering more, I went to Walgreens and bought their store brand detergent since it was buy one get one free. Usually store brands aren't too disappointing, but this time I got what I paid for. That crap is awful! My clothes came out smelling like dirty-smoker-icky-white trash smell. I'm sure you know the scent. That week I saw a product test on the news where they tested a bunch of different laundry detergents on a myriad of stains in various circumstances, and Tide proved the best in every case. Even though Tide is expensive, I figure the results don't lie. I gave in and bought some Tide and washed my clothes with it last night. My clothes came out SOFT, and CLEAN, and smelled GOOD!!! Consider me converted. Now that I've seen the light, there is no turning back from Tide.