I'm still ME.

I knew the time would eventually come where my pregnancy hormones caught up with me. If you ask Art, he would probably say that happened a long time ago, but in my opinion it wasn't until the past week or so. I have had many hormonal outbursts, but I'd like to think I'm justified in being upset about this one...

I am very frustrated with the constant criticism and unwanted advice that seems to pour from the mouths of my co-workers. Every time we have some kind of firm gathering, it quickly becomes a "let's talk about Krysta" fest no matter the occasion. We got together this week to have a birthday cake for one of the attorneys and our paralegal started in with, "Wow! Your belly is GIGANTIC!" Yes, she said gigantic to a pregnant woman. I wanted to slap her. Instead I thanked her for her kind choice of words. Then of course Tubby is always ready with her obnoxious comments, "Krysta needs a BIG piece, because she is pregnant!" So they cut me this big ol' honkin' piece of cake, which was way too sweet and in my opinion undesirable, then Tubby says, "Oh, baby doesn't like the cake???" I said, "NO... I don't like the cake." I HATE when people act like I have a tube that goes directly from my mouth to the baby's taste buds without passing GO and collecting $200. The baby gets fed through her belly button for heaven's sake! And it's nutrients mixed in BLOOD, not pureed cake! Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I don't have my own taste buds any more! Then my firm manager makes a loud remark about how much I have "popped" lately. Usually when everyone gets done picking on me, they talk about him and the baby he and his "partner" just adopted which bothers me on many levels in and of itself, but when it comes down to it I just don't have any patience for a gay man who thinks his situation is anything like mine. I couldn't bite my tongue any more and had already let a couple rude comments fly during the gathering, so I quietly excused myself to my desk where I sat angrily for the remainder of the day.

Sometimes I just want to tell people, "Yes, I'm pregnant. Yes, I have a belly. Now LEAVE ME ALONE." I just don't understand how being pregnant dissolves people's verbal restraint. I just want to BE, because I'm still ME. My friend Robyn had given me a letter "K" necklace for my birthday and mentioned she bought it for ME because everyone was kind of focused on the baby. At the time, I didn't value it's purpose, but after that day I went to work armed with my letter "K" and felt much better about life in general. We'll see how long that lasts. Probably until my next firm gathering.

On a happier note, my baby shower invitations went out this week. I'm quite pleased with them.

I have also been making some progress painting my crib and dresser with some help from Lauren, Art, and my mom's next door neighbor. I was really stressed one day about the lack of progress I'd made because of the heat and wind and, in a fit of desperation, dragged Art out to paint as the last remnants of sunshine faded away. I kept thinking, If only I had one of those shop lights, I could paint out here at night when the wind dies down and it's not so hot. I had suspicions that my mom's neighbor had one because he is always tinkering around outside, but I didn't have the courage to ask him since I don't know him except in passing. God must have heard my silent prayer, because the neighbor came outside and offered us his shop light. I definitely believe that God takes care of us through our friends. Since then, we have made a lot more progress. Now everything is primed and the black is about half done. Hopefully we can get it finished up this weekend.

Lately I feel like I'm racing the clock trying to get things done before the baby comes, or before I'm not capable of doing them any more. The reality that my due date is only 9 weeks away is certainly setting in along with the realization that I only have 5 more weeks of work before I can go on leave. And with the strange bladder issues I'm having (blood in my urine but no infection) which are causing me to contract more than normal, there is no telling if I will have to go on bed rest at any given time. I also have to pass 2 real estate tests ASAP so that I can finalize my sales license and not let all the money I've invested in my real estate education go down the drain by not finishing it in the 18 month window. Then to top it all off, all the room I have for the baby is a corner of my bedroom which isn't even cleared out yet. I really wish we could afford to move into a bigger place, but I have no idea when that day will come. I'm just trying to take everything one day at a time and do the best I can with what I have.

You may have noticed off to the right, a countdown to my 2 year wedding anniversary which is fast approaching. It's on a Tuesday this year, which is no fun, but Art would have to specifically request a weekend off if it was on the weekend. He has a much easier time requesting weekdays off because they aren't so busy. We haven't made any grand or adventurous plans due to our lack of funds and ambition, but we're talking about going out to dinner at Cool Hand Luke's or something. I thought it would be appropriate to buy him a gift of some sort so I ordered him an Adidas logo T-Shirt because he has been looking for one for a long time. I think I will also get him a bottle of Victoria's Secret Very Sexy cologne since he has been talking about that lately. I guess it's a good thing he doesn't read my blog. I can talk about him all I want! I have been obviously hinting at some opal jewelry for my anniversary present and even pointed some out in the Mervyn's ad. I thought it would be fun to have something opal since that is the October birthstone. He didn't write it down though, so I'm not sure if he will remember come September 9th. Actually, If I didn't point it out to him I'm sure he wouldn't even remember September 9th at all. That's ok though. I love him despite his mental limitations.