The Happy Horn

Several times I have been stuck behind a car sitting at a green light who isn't paying attention and, being that I have no interest in waiting until the next green light, I kindly honk my horn as a friendly reminder to them to GO. As you can well imagine, for I am sure we have all had this experience, my kind gesture is always followed by an un-kind gesture. For heaven's sake! THEY were the ones camping out at the green light!

One time I was driving and straight in front of me was a man riding his bike directly toward me in my lane. I had nowhere to go to dodge him, so I honked my horn as if to say, "I'm gonna hit you if you don't move!" And what does he do? Flips me off! HE was the idiot coming at me in MY lane like he never heard of a sidewalk! I could have run him over, yet somehow he felt I was deserving of a glimpse of his raised middle finger. I have never understood the source of these inappropriate gestures until now.

As most of you know, our Jetta gave up the ghost last week and left us with a mountain of debt. We traded it in for a nearly-new, base model Mazda 3. I knew I would miss our power mirrors, cruise control, heated seats, power locks, and even air conditioning, but keeping in mind that we had to roll over our debt from our deceased Jetta on to our new loan, we had to start small. For a sticker price of only ten thousand dollars, those features were a sacrifice we were willing to make. Besides, the car is black inside and out. How could we say no?

The day after we got our "new" Mazda 3, we witnessed a lady back into the bumper of our car and take off! I was angry. Later that day, I found myself stuck behind a car sitting at a green light as usual. I had not yet tested out my new car's horn, so I thought it was an appropriate time to do so. TOOT! My car let out a peculiarly quiet, particularly high-pitched, one-tone toot. It sounded much more like something you would hear coming from an ice cream truck rather than a honk from a car. I was expecting the typical rude response, only to behold a friendly wave as they drove across the intersection! I smiled with contentment and my anger from my car getting hit earlier was greatly diminished; I had found the answer to my driving frustrations:

Loud, piercing, obnoxious horn installed in most cars and trucks + test subject = angry response from test subject such as middle finger in the air and/or dispense of vulgar phrases.

Mazda 3 horn + test subject = the spread of happiness throughout the world.

I smile and laugh every time I toot my horn and try to find as many opportunities as possible to do so. Unfortunately, Art doesn't share my adoration of our new horn and I guess I can't entirely blame him. In the instance that you wanted to angrily honk at someone who had cut you off, the tiny toot of our horn wouldn't quite get the message across. Perhaps in the future cars will come equipped with 2 horns- a happy horn, and an angry horn. Then we'll be prepared for whatever driving obstacles come our way, but in the meantime… I am quite content with my happy horn.