When Baby Cakes and I decided it was out time to multiply and replenish the earth, I thought getting pregnant was going to be a piece of cake. Now I realize this conception business is a lot more complicated than I thought it would be!
Being the natural planner that I am, I immediately began my online research of everything I needed to know about getting knocked up and I couldn't understand anything I was reading- it's all in code! TTC- trying to conceive, AF- Aunt Flow (period), HPT- home pregnancy test, BFP- big fat positive (on your HPT), DPO- days past ovulation, CM- cervical mucus. The list goes on! Not only do you need to know the code, but evidently you need lots of "baby dust". Where on earth can you buy baby dust???
I felt a little better after I got a fair handle on the new language until I realized how many factors and circumstances you have to coordinate to make this magical conception happen... alignment of the planets, moon phase, ocean tides, weather conditions, bad hair days, good hair days, the stock market, interest rates, UFO sightings, and ovulation.
Then there are the side effects of stopping birth control, allergy medicine, and anti-inflammatory drugs. I am pimple faced and moody, sneezing my head off, covered in hives, and can't open my mouth. No wonder I'm not turning up pregnant- Baby Cakes doesn't want to come within 20 feet of me!
And what is is about pregnancy tests that makes you start your period? If word got out about that, Trojan would be out of business!
It's a wonder how any baby can be an "accident" with all of the odds against you. It's kinda like winning the lottery! I've been buying my tickets for 6 months and counting, but I guess God gives some of us a test of patience while we are waiting for our number to be drawn!
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