Realistic Optimistic

Art and I have been trying to get our finances in order to buy a house over the past couple years, so we were thrilled to find out in January that our credit was up to par and that with some seller contribution toward closing costs and a down payment assistance program, we could start shopping for a house now. We qualified with our lender, and coordinated with our agent, Dyan, my trusted friend and past co-worker at The Boyd Company.

It was merely days later that we found a property that caught our attention. Not too old, decent part of town, fully remodeled, huge backyard. So we made an offer on it. This is when I began to learn that the most complicated part of buying a house is the emotional aspect. It became all I could think about. I couldn't even sleep at night. I was so excited- my mind pouring over every detail of the house, imagining us occupying it. Then my logic kicked in after a few days, knowing the seller was receiving multiple offers, I knew I better not let myself get so emotionally attached. But then I felt like I was getting pessimistic- doubting our decision to put an offer on the house, thinking of more of the negative qualities of the house or neighborhood, almost like premature buyer's remorse. How do you be realistic without being pessimistic? And how to you be optimistic without getting emotionally attached? Our offer didn't end up getting accepted, and I am ok with that, but these two questions have been on my mind, knowing we would be making offers on other houses in the future.

All month, I meticulously searched the listings for any properties of interest. With Keira going to school this fall, and Art still working nights, we want to find as safe of a neighborhood as possible. Before I even consider a property, I check it against crimereports.com to see where the sex offenders live and how much crime there is in the area. None of the houses fit our price range and criteria until a new listing appeared last night in a very desirable and safe part of town. Walking distance to two parks, the church, the elementary school, middle school, and high school. We drove by it today and checked out the neighborhood, came back later to see the inside at the open house, and had our offer submitted this evening. Here we go again... excited... distracted... nervous... probably won't sleep tonight... feeling like there's no chance in the world that our offer will be accepted... yet deciding where I'm going to put my furniture all at the same time. I'm hoping someday soon I can master being realistic and optimistic at the same time.

Once There Was a Snowman

Most kids love to scribble and color, but not Keira. She has always had an aversion to it, which makes me more and more nervous the closer she gets to starting kindergarten this fall. She is a perfectionist and since she knows she can't write and color perfectly, she doesn't want to do it at all- especially not on demand. Nonetheless, she would randomly surprise me by writing an occasional letter of the alphabet on my phone or dry erase board or a scribble here or there. She is very creative and has, of her own accord, made alphabet letters out of Q-tips and made a happy face out of jewel stickers on my kitchen counter, but I can't seem to get her to write them on paper. She loves to do other art projects including using scissors, stickers, glue, and paper, but the majority of her coloring projects have been on my couch, walls, and floor.

I have been trying to present her with more artistic opportunities to prepare her for school, without putting any pressure on her to do so. She is the kind of girl who will do things on her own but will put the brakes on the moment she thinks it's your idea and not hers. She has actually started to scribble more than ever before, and any scribble of hers is a work of art to me because at least she is finally using a writing instrument in her own hand to write on paper.

Today, I was cooking dinner and Keira took the unsupervised opportunity to do something she's not supposed to, as usual. She found a purple ink pen and scribbled all over her knee. Then later I asked her why she did it and she said, "Because I wanted a snowman cutie mark." (Cutie marks are the designs on each pony's flank in the My Little Pony cartoon.) I didn't think much of it, until later I was sitting next to her on the couch and realized that her "scribbles" were not scribbles at all, but she had actually drawn a snowman on her knee! She has never drawn anything before in her life, and busts out with a snowman on her kneecap. She went on the explain that the other "scribbles" around the snowman were the road to get to the snow park and piles of snow around the snowman. I was amazed.

I am starting to learn that even if her art projects are done on a surface they don't belong, not to react harshly at first because when I really pay attention to what she's done I realize just how smart she is. She just doesn't want me to know. :)

Conversations with Keira

Keira is extremely smart and often surprises us with her vocabulary and understanding of concepts. Sometimes the things she says catch us completely off guard. For example...

A few weeks ago, Keira demanded that Art get get a drink of juice. I corrected her and told her to ask nicely. She asked again more nicely, batting her eyelashes for added persuasion and when Art agreed to get her drink she muttered deviously, "I knew I could break him!" I was floored. I didn't even know how to respond to that and I have no idea where she would have heard that or how she could understand the concept of "breaking" someone.

Then yesterday, Keira was trying to convince me to retrieve a toy that she believes is in the garage. I told really didn't want to go the garage and she asked me if it was because there were spiders out there. I was like, "Yeah there are yucky spiders out there. I don't wanna go out there. Let's make Daddy go out there another time." So she told me, "You just have to take the broom out there and if a spider comes you smash it with the broom!" I responded, what if there are two spiders? Then what do I do?" She thinks, then responds, "You just step on them with your two shoes!" Then I asked her, "What if there are THREE spiders coming at me at the same time?" She got a pensive look on her face and I thought I may have stumped her then she stated bluntly, "You'll just have to take your chances."

Oh my goodness that made me laugh. She is so clever... a little devious... but clever.

Back to Blonde

Having never dyed my hair dark before, I had no idea that making my hair blonde again would be so difficult. I thought since I am naturally blonde it should be an easy task not realizing it would be just as complicated as if my hair were actually brown. My mom worked at it for over 10 hours and at one point my hair resembled orange sherbet. It took lots of frustration, color remover, bleach, toner, tears, then more toner, but I'm pretty much back to a reasonable shade of blonde. Now I need a haircut to cut off all the damage. As I was gently examining a damaged section of my hair, the bottom inch or so literally just came off in my fingers. My mom has banned me from ever choosing my own hair color again, and Art is very happy to have his blonde wife back again.

Shining Moments

Liana is 8 months old and growing cuter and smarter every day. A baby's first year goes WAY too fast and we just can't believe she is going to be one year old in just 4 months. Liana is absolutely the best baby. She NEVER cries. I mean NEVER. The only thing you can do to make her mad is wipe or clean out her nose, which we have had to do a lot in the past month since she and Keira have been sick off an on. She is a very easy going baby. She just goes with the flow and she is happy as long as her tummy is full. She pulls herself up to stand on everything and challenges herself to let go and balance for about 10 seconds at a time. Keira started walking at 9 1/2 months and I'm pretty sure we can expect the same from Liana. She loves to jump and has started to dance and wiggle when she hears music or she is happy about something. She is a joy to be around and her smile fills your heart with happiness.

She learned how to clap! She's actually been doing this since about 7 months old.

 

She is a sleep crawler! She usually ends up scooted into the side of her crib with her buns in the air, but I have even found her sitting up in the corner, slumped over asleep. She takes 2 naps a day. The first from about 12-2 then her evening nap from about 6-7 then she goes to bed at 10 pm and sleeps all night until about 8-9 am.

She loves playing with Keira. She likes to crawl around after Keira, play with her toys, and pull her hair at every opportunity.

She has a fairly serious personality. It isn't easy to get her to laugh. One thing that makes her laugh every time is touching fluffy animals, like Nika, and even Keira's fluffy robotic cat makes her laugh. And, of course, Keira can always seem to get her to giggle.

 

Earliest Memories

Although scientists claim that memories can't be formed until about 3 years old, I have an abundance of memories from my early childhood as far back as about 1 year old. When I was born, I lived in an old house in Coalinga, CA with my older brother Brent until I turned 4 years old at which time we moved to Fresno and I clearly remember the house we lived in and clear memories of daily life there.

As a little girl, I was extremely shy. So shy, in fact, sometimes I would be afraid to talk to my own mom and I was frightened to death of my dad. To me, my dad was this huge, loud, scary guy with facial hair who tried to force affection rather than quietly earning it. In fact, I was very afraid of men in general. Especially men with facial hair. The worst thing I ever got in trouble for was not eating my dinner, particularly spaghetti (probably because of onions) and fish sticks. I remember being very quiet, extremely well behaved, and mostly self-entertaining. My brother and I spent a lot of time playing in the backyard on the swing set or in the sandbox with our big black newfoundland Flash and our cat Billy.

I believe my earliest memory is of me laying on the living room floor between the couch and black trunk we used as a coffee table, teething on barbie legs. The barbie was the centerpiece of my first birthday cake, so I had just turned one. It is so amazing that I remember things like sitting in my high chair, teething, and getting my diaper changed. It gives me such a unique perspective raising my girls, when I can look at both of them and remember being that age.

Here are some memories I have of being a little girl, in no particular order. All between the ages of 1 to 4.

Ruffle bottom stockings. Pink corduroy dress with tiny pink flowers to wear to church.

Climbing kitchen cabinets to get plum baby food. I remember trying to eat one with a big spoon that wouldn't fit in the jar.

Getting chicken pox for the second time at about 2 years old. I had them so bad, they were everywhere. On my eyes, inside my crevices.

Sitting on the back porch wondering what dirt tasted like. I took a handful and put it in my mouth, tried to chew it then spit it out.

My dad brought home a trailer full of manure to plant a garden and my brother and I were playing in it like you would play in dirt, not understanding what it was. Not sure why Dad thought that was a good idea to let us play in manure, and Mom was not very happy about it when she found out.

Playing in the backyard, looking at the sun wondering if it was inside of the world or outside. I decided it was inside.

I had a pair of KangaROOS tennis shoes with zipper pocket. I put a coin in the pocket and could never get it back out.

I went through a phase of tucking all my shirts in and my socks had to be pulled straight up.

At about 2 years old, our friends Timmy and Tommy Thatcher were teasing me about how I sucked my thumb and carried my blanket everywhere. So, I stomped in the kitchen where my parents were talking, interrupted them even though I knew not to, and declared my independence. I told them I'm not a baby anymore and threw my blanket in the trash can. Then I put my hand by my side and said I wasn't going to suck my thumb anymore either. Surprisingly, I never went back on my word.

Standing on a chair washing dishes with my mom.

I had a little birthstone ring and I was walking through a Walgreens type store, holding my moms hand, and I dropped the ring. I tugged back reaching for it, but my mom didn't realize what I was trying to get and kept walking. I was too shy to tell her to stop and let me get it.

Pushing all my toys under my dresser when I was supposed to clean up my room. I was so mad when that plan didn't work and I had to pull them out and put them away the right way.

Walking to the corner to pick up Brent from school. I was 3 years old.

We took a trip to the snow in our VW Rabbit. I was sliding down the hill with my dad we fell off the inner tube.

Mom sewing my cousin Christina's pink prom dress.

Picking at my belly button until it got red then asking for a bandaid. I did that a few times. lol

Scribbling tornadoes on a lined piece of paper with many pens and pencils and sitting at the kitchen table writing 3 letter words.

Putting every hair clip I could find in my hair.

Halloween 1988 - 2 years old

Playing in the backyard about 3 years old.

About 4 years old.

Christmas Love

This year, Keira was begging me to put the tree up since before Thanksgiving and I told her we had to wait until after Thanksgiving. So the weekend after Thanksgiving, Keira would no longer take "no" for an answer so I gave in and we decorated our house. I decided to keep things simple and hardly put any ornaments on the tree. The decorations consisted mostly of our usual theme of lights, ribbon, and flowers. The only ornaments on the tree are the 4 snowflake photo frame ones, which I updated with our new family pictures from November. It was so fun to add a new picture to the tree and stocking to the fireplace for Liana.

At Thanksgiving, we decided to draw names for a gift exchange with my siblings, mom, and Uncle Mark so we could buy each other one nice present instead of figuring out what to get everyone. I thought that was a good idea and really simplified the task of Christmas shopping. We kept our budget small this year and did a good job of sticking to it. As each present was purchased or delivered, Keira (my little Christmas helper) insisted that I wrap it immediately. She helped me with the tape, chose what wrapping paper to use, put bows on, and stuck on the name tags. She begged me to let her help wrap her own presents. I mean, she sure thought that was a win-win arrangement. Of course I didn't let her, but she did choose her paper, bows, and name tags, and made sure all of her presents were wrapped in green paper.

At the beginning of December, Liana had not yet started to crawl. She was just starting to get up on her hands and knees and rock like she wanted to take off crawling, but couldn't quite figure out how. She had her eye on the Christmas tree though, and I knew by the end of the month she would make it over there to see it. Not only did she master crawling in December, but she mastered pulling herself up to stand... on EVERYTHING and even stands up and balances without holding on to anything. It's amazing how much babies grow in one month. Here she is crawling to the tree for the first time. She investigated the presents, but thankfully didn't do any damage to them.

Unfortunately, both of the girls were sick on Christmas- especially Keira. She had a non-stop high fever for like a week straight. We had taken her to the doctor the Friday before Christmas and had her taking an anti-viral medication but it didn't seem to help. On the Sunday before Christmas, she looked so terrible I had Art, my brother Kyle, and my Uncle Mark give her a blessing. She started looking better the following couple days, but she was still very sick and feverish on Christmas Day which was on Tuesday. Even though both of them didn't feel well, they seemed to enjoy the day.

The Night Before Christmas

Christmas morning we slept in until the girls woke up and then opened our presents. Keira was so cute and considerate, as usual, while opening presents. She made sure everyone had a present to open, without concern for her own presents. She always opens her presents slowly and takes time examining each gift and expressing her gratitude to the person who gave it to her. All of my family gathered at my house Christmas Day and we had a delicious dinner of beef roast and potatoes, cooked by my mom.

Keira Helping Liana Open Her Stocking Christmas Morning

Liana's First Christmas - 7 months old

Sweet Keira - 4 years old

This Christmas, I felt a lot of peace in my life and I know that peace comes from the understanding I have of the love our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have for us. As a mother, I think of what it must have felt like for our Heavenly Father to sacrifice his son- to send him away to atone for our sins. I also feel like I have a greater understanding of Mary's sacrifice and trials as well. The Christmas season is such a wonderful time to reflect on the many ways we have been blessed by God's love. I feel so bad for people who stress themselves out this time of year, worried about shopping 'til they drop and baking until they just can't bake anymore. I feel like they are missing the point by burdening themselves with unnecessary or excessive tasks. Every year I strive to keep things as peaceful as possible so I can enjoy the true spirit of Christmas, and I hope my children learn to do this too.

"Christmas is more than trees and twinkling lights, more than toys and gifts and baubles of a hundred varieties. It is LOVE. It is the love of the Son of God for all mankind. It is magnificent and beautiful."   - Gordon B. Hinckley