Full Circle

Despite my best attempts to be 100% stay at home mom, I couldn't escape the fact that we remained unavoidably a couple hundred dollars short every month. I really didn't want to go back to work 20 hours a week- it just takes too much out of me to be able to be a good wife and mom at the same time- so I looked for a job that would be less than 20 hours a week. There weren't a lot of options in this category so I knew I couldn't be picky. I saw a couple of housekeeping jobs and applied for them, and sure enough I got a call from a husband and wife looking for someone to work at their house a couple days a week.

I have been working Tuesday and Thursday mornings from 9-12 for about a month now and so far I really enjoy my new job. It's definitely a huge change from my heavily secretarial background. I haven't worn an apron since my very first job working as a server at Grand Occasions Catering and Banquets. Now I feel like I have come full circle back to my beginnings except now I don't have to wear a white shirt and black tie.

Since my job is cleaning, it doesn't really feel like work. It feels like every day life. Like an extension of my daily activities. In fact, it's actually easier than cleaning my own house, because there are no children to clean up after which means I don't have to pick up a million items off the floor that come from all over the house, and I don't have to worry about Keira destroying everything I have just accomplished. I think that these 6 hours a week will do exactly what I hoped- help make ends meet without taking up the better part of my time and energy.

A Random Kind of Girl

After watching a movie, Keira comes up with the most random quotes to say. I think Keira has seen Tangled a few too many times, because she walks around saying things like, "This is the story of how I died," and, "I have a PERSON in my CLOSET!" It's a little disconcerting. Then after she watched Beauty and the Beast today and has been saying things like "Don't talk about my father that way!" "Take me instead!" and "Show me the beast!"

Keira has started pretending to play the guitar on random objects like her big shovel and the broom. She pronounces guitar "cantar" which is funny because it means "sing" in Spanish. So she has been singing, "Cantar cantar all day long!" I really don't know where she came up with that line.

Lastly, who is Peter? In my house there are 3. Peter Joey (Keira's name for a peanut butter jelly sandwich), regular Peter (heater), and good ol' Com Peter (the computer). Who knew the name Peter could cover 3 random objects?

On a whim, we had a picnic at Millerton Lake last week. I knew it was close and wanted to check it out for quite some time. I'm glad we did. It only took about 25 minutes to get there and we had the whole place to ourselves since it was a weekday. The picnic area was grassy, shady, and beautiful. We saw a bunch of lizards, a bunny, fought off some squirrels, saved 2 tiny frogs from the bathroom, took a picture of a wild turkey in front of the lake, got our feet wet, then came home. Here are some pictures of our picnic adventure.

Cake

March 28th marked my 25th birthday and this year we decided to spend it at Art's grandparents' house in the bay area. Visiting his grandparents is truly a vacation- they spoil us, cook for us, and absolutely adore their great-grandbaby (even though she wears them out). We took a drive to the Concord mall and bought some much needed summer apparel for Keira and had my birthday lunch at Johnny Rockets since we no longer have one in Fresno. Grandma Kathy and Grandpa George have made me feel like family since the first time I met them. We visit them as often as we can and on our drives home all I think about is how grateful I am that they make us feel so welcome and so loved. Keira has no idea how lucky she is to have such awesome great-grandparents, but it is obvious that she loves them.

Since I knew I was going to be out of town for my actual birthday, I had a small celebration at my house a couple days before with my family and Robyn, who is pretty much family. We had pizza and watched "The Other Guys." My mom has exemplary cake making skills and she made me her new specialty- an angel food strawberry ice cream cake with whipped frosting and strawberry topping. It's like heaven baked into a delicious confection. I wish I had even a fraction of my mom's cooking skills. My last cake making attempt resulted in one of my most embarrassing moments which I will divulge now...

It was about 3 years ago and our ward was asking people to sign up to bring cakes to some event. When I saw the sign up sheet, hardly anyone had signed up so I added my name to the list out of sympathy. I remembered having a lemon cake mix in the pantry that needed cooking so I whipped it up in my heart-shaped silicon pan, but when I attempted to remove it from the pan, about half the cake stuck to the pan and it came out (for lack of a better description) FUGLY. So I smothered it with frosting and called a neighboring member to ask if she had any sprinkles (for, at that moment in time, I thought that sprinkles might detract from the hideousness of the cake). She met me at the church with the sprinkles and I put them on the cake, but it just made it look even more like a five year old made it.

I almost took it back home because it was so unsightly, but I thought, "Oh it's no big deal. It will just get stuck on some big table with lots of other food and cakes and no one will even know I made it." So I went into the cultural hall to put it on the table only to discover that these cakes were intended to be on display with pedestals and name tags prepared for each one. To make it worse, the other cakes were glorious like something my mother could make. Some people even cheated and bought fancy store bought ones. Then there sat my ugly sprinkled lump of a lemon cake with my name all over it. I wanted to dig myself a grave and crawl in it. I do believe I am so emotionally scarred by that experience that I will never attempt cake making again.

The "Docker Man" Mystery

We recently introduced Keira to the Toy Story movies, and it's not a surprise that she loves them. Then we realized that whenever she was watching it or saw a picture of something from Toy Story she would say "Docker Man!" We had no idea what she meant by that and every time I would watch the movie with her I would quiz her on who or what is Docker Man, never getting a definitive answer. I listened to the movie carefully for anything that could even sound like Docker Man.... I spend days upon days contemplating what it could possibly be... I asked family members what they thought it could be... and still the mystery remained unsolved. UNTIL TODAY...

This morning we watched Toy Story again and I realized that Docker Man is STAR COMMAND! She said it when she saw Buzz then shortly after he started talking to Star Command and I put the two together. Then later I told her to say "Star Command" and it definitely comes out "Docker Man." Of all the things she could pick out of that movie... silly girl. I'm sure this won't be her last pronunciation mystery, but I'm sure glad it's solved.

God is Right

My life is sneaky and likes to pull the rug out from under my feet without warning. Such an instance occurred when after only 3 weeks at my new job, I was called into the managers office and laid off, because I can't go full-time in the future- never mind the fact that I disclosed this fact clearly in my first and second interviews. For quite some time now, the answer to my prayers concerning my employment has been that I need to stay home entirely. Yet I continued to accept jobs knowing that I wasn't supposed to, then abruptly got pushed back home. After this last push, I decided to quit fighting it. Not unlike my teenage days, defying my mothers wisdom only to later discover she was right, I tested Heavenly Father's wisdom and I am now accepting the simple truth that God is right.

As angry as I am for getting laid off... again... still no fault of my own, I realize how much better things are at home when I can dedicate all of my energy to my family instead of splitting it with a job. I know most people can handle working part-time and keeping up on motherly duties, but I am a very low energy person. Even working 4 hours a day takes so much out of me that by the time I get home all I can think about is taking a nap and simple chores like keeping the house clean and getting meals on the table become overwhelming arduous tasks. In retrospect, I don't think I could have made it through the past few months if I had been working and this is why...

I have been home since sometime January, at which time Keira learned to climb out of her crib. Little did I know how much this discovery would affect our lives. She used to be an awesome sleeper. I could put her in her crib for a nap every day at 1 and she would take a solid 2 hour nap. Then bedtime has always been at 10 and I could lay her down and she would go to sleep without protest and sleep until about 8:30. The moment she learned she could escape her crib, she was out of there every 30 seconds. As much as I didn't want to, I knew I had to get her a toddler bed so she wouldn't get hurt climbing out of her crib. I found a perfect bed on craigslist for 20 bucks and painted it black then assembled it in her room. Ever since, there is nothing I can do to keep her in bed. No amount of Super Nanny tactics, threats, rewards, spankings, or routine can make her go to sleep and stay in bed. Not only that, but she has forsaken her 2 hour afternoon nap that used to ensure my sanity throughout the day. But when she goes to sleep earlier around 8, she wakes up 2 hours later and wants to be up til like 1 am. This has been going on for THREE MONTHS now. I'm seriously losing it. The day she learned she could get out of bed any time she wanted opened up an opportunity in her mind that a girl with her level of hyperactivity and determination cannot ignore.

I have since determined that motherhood is just a sugar-coated term for a WAR that you cannot win. Keira is hands down the most strong-willed human being I have ever come in contact with. As sweet natured as she can be, you can't make her do anything she doesn't want to. I have to declare war with her every time I brush her teeth and every time I put her to bed. And as I stated before, no punishment works on her. Spankings don't phase her and she doesn't understand the concept of rewards for good behavior or if you take something away from her for bad behavior. It makes no difference to her. If it's not her idea, it's just not going to happen without a huge fight. It seems bedtime is going to be quite an obstacle at least until she is old enough to work some persuasion on. I just can't figure out how a girl so obstinate can be so sweet and polite at the same time.

In February I took our pediatrician's advice to get Keira re-potty trained after a 5 month relapse. He said she should be able to hold her pee for an appropriate amount of time (2-3 hours) instead of the 20 minutes she was holding it last time we potty trained her in August. We used the all-panties-day-and-night method that he suggested and It has been going better than we expected. She rarely has a full-on accident, always poops in the potty, but it seems she gets a spot of pee on every pair of underwear I put on her and she still has to pee every hour or so. She's also waking up once or twice a night to pee. I'm not sure if she's waking up to pee or peeing because she's been waking up. On a side note, I devised an ingenious method to pee-proof Keira's car seat... puppy training pads. They are thin, absorbent, waterproof, and cheap. One accident in her car seat was enough for me. I'm never going through that mess again!

In an attempt to maintain my sanity whilst at home constantly exposed to such tumultuous circumstances as a two year old can bring, I have spent a significant amount of time crafting starting with painting Keira's big girl bed. I've crocheted something like 8 scarves, a baby afghan, 10 ponytail holders, and 7 sets of hair clips. When I sufficiently tortured my ulnar nerve, I decided to do some scrapbooking then completed my wedding photo album and a belated brag book for Keira's baby pictures. Most recently, I drew a new picture of Keira like the one I did of her at 5 months old. Aren't I productive when I'm not working?

The last noteworthy event was that my siblings and I finally got together with my mom for a family picture. My mom has been after one for a long time and miraculously we found a Saturday that all of us could make it. We gathered at Woodward park and snapped a few pictures with a tripod and Kyle's camera. They came out pretty good, but I didn't realize that Arthur was wearing his sunglasses until it was too late. I don't know how he managed to pull that off. I'm still trying to forgive him for that. Otherwise, I think the pictures are as good as you can get for a group that size, especially with the addition of a terrible two year old and two dogs.

The Truth About 2010

Our Christmas this year was the perfect finish to 2010. We expected presents to be sparse this year, but somehow we had an abundance of presents under the tree and we felt very blessed. Uncle Mark got to spend Christmas with us again this year. We spent Christmas Eve at my grandpa's house and Christmas Day at my house. We had an awesome dinner of my mom's homemade lasagna.

Uncle Mark Peters, Mom (Dee Eslick), Kyle, Vivian, Brent, Lauren, Me, Keira, Art

Art, Keira, Me, Dad (Ken Eslick), Sheila, Christine, Vivian, Brent, Grandpa Don Eslick and his sister Aunt Ina, Kyle, Nick, and Lauren

2010 was a year fraught with peril and filled with blessings. I spent half of the year unemployed which was definitely challenging on our family. Thankfully Art is making a better wage this year so we weren't so didn't struggle so desperately as we did last year. Art is still working nights at Winco- going on 6 years.

Art celebrated his 27th birthday on New Year's Eve, Keira turned 2 in October, and I remain 24 until March. When Lauren turns 20 this week, all of my siblings will be in our 20s for the next 3 years until Brent turns 30.

I just started another part-time job working 9-1 for Fresno Management Company, a property management company near Riverpark. It's still too soon to form an opinion about it, but I'm hoping that it is the right job for me and that I can stay there for a long time. I'd like more than anything to be able to stay home with Keira, but we're not quite there yet. We still need for me to be making a little money to make ends meet.

We have been trying to get pregnant since DECEMBER 2009. Yes, it's now January 2011 and we have had no such luck. It took 10 months to get pregnant with Keira, but I was hoping it would be faster this time since I wasn't on birth control since she was born. For some reason unknown to me, it's taking even longer this time. We are trying to be patient and remember that these things happen on the Lord's time, but it's hard. My doctor doesn't seem concerned. He is of the attitude that "I have been pregnant before- I will get pregnant again." I wish I felt so confident. I have had a problem with a complex ovarian cyst over the past year, but that shouldn't be preventing pregnancy and there are no other issues that the doctor can find.

Trying to get pregnant and being unemployed definitely put a strain on our relationship in the past year. It has been a challenge to stay focused and not let our trials come between us, but we are pushing forward and will be celebrating our 5 year wedding anniversary this year. We have been together for nearly 6 years. We are making our best efforts to be sealed in the temple and we are getting very close. Art has come such a long way since he joined the church over 3 years ago. Besides getting along, our final challenge has been for both of us to pay our tithing. That's a hard thing to do knowing that if we pay it, we won't be able to pay our bills, but we have taken a leap of faith and we have been blessed so far.

We spent the whole year healthy and enjoyed an abundance of time with our family. Nearly every Saturday spent at my mom's house enjoying her home-cooked meals and sharing movies and games with my siblings. It's hard NOT to visit my mom when every day Keira's waking words are, "Grandma's house?" We welcomed my younger brother, Kyle, home from his mission in November and Keira loves him just like her other uncle and aunts.

Well, that's the truth about the past year- the good and the bad. I did you a favor and omitted the ugly. Although I have made no formal resolutions, I am simply hoping last year's obstacles will become this year's strengths. Happy New Year to all of my family and friends. May this year be everything we hope it to be.

Two Sweet

Yesterday we finally took Keira to her 2 year checkup with Dr. Jones (Dr. "Bones" as she says) and learned that she has graduated to 3 feet tall which is 95th percentile for height! We knew she had gone through quite a growth spurt, but she has never been over 75th percentile. She is getting so tall and beautiful that Art and I are amazed on a daily basis. It is fascinating how she took our cuteness and multiplied it times 10- just amazing and humbling to think that we created someone so perfect and special.

One thing I think is particularly special about Keira is not only is she 95th percentile height for her age, but she is 95th percentile sweet. She is especially polite and caring. When most 2 year olds say "NO!" she says "No, thank you." She says "thank you" at every appropriate opportunity and "bless you" every time we cough or sneeze. She says "please" to get her way and all this without any prompting to do so. When she wants to be held, she doesn't say "up," she says "hug." She shares her soft blankee with us and gives big hugs and "tisses," takes care of us when we're sick, and showers us with her love all day.

As I have confided with Art, the most important thing to me as a parent is to make sure that Keira knows how much we love her. She requires an outpouring of patience and love to avoid yelling at her all day so we really make an effort to treat her kindly and speak to her softly. As headstrong and energetic as she is, I knew it would take a special approach to bring out the good qualities in her. Not only does she reciprocate our kindness to her, but she magnifies it. Art and I are far from perfect and struggle more than we should to get along, but one thing that unites us is how much we love our little girl and we both agree that she knows it.