Chinese Water Torture

I have come to realize that to Keira, breastfeeding is like Chinese Water Torture. With the combination of her high arched palate and weak suck and my lack of substantial milk supply, it was inevitable that breastfeeding wouldn't work out for us. Try as she may, she just can't latch on well enough and suck hard enough to get enough to eat. She even has trouble sucking on a bottle or pacifier. With the flow from a bottle being so abundant, I really can't blame her for being discontent with my slow drip. I have, however, been pumping what little milk I have for her and she seems to enjoy it much more than I enjoy pumping. A couple weeks ago, I had read about how babies go through a growth spurt around 3 weeks old where they will eat every hour around the clock and shuddered at the thought. Then a moment ago, the baby was fussing and Art asked if she might be hungry and I said, "She just ate an hour ago!" Surprisingly, Art remembered our conversation about the growth spurt and suggested that might be why she is hungry and I responded, "But that's not supposed to happen until they are 3 weeks old! Oh..." When I read about it, it seemed so far away but these 3 weeks have gone by so fast!

Even though she is only a couple weeks old, her personality is definitely forming and I have learned a few things about her. She does NOT like to have her arms confined. She will go to extraordinary lengths to free them. Also, she does not have "hunger cues." The moment her eyes open, you have to run and get a bottle. She doesn't mess around- she gets straight down to business. I have also learned that she inherited Art's crude digestive system. You wouln't believe the foul stench that comes out of such a cute girl and she lets out some amazing belches. I will certainly pray she becomes more refined as she grows. Lastly, when I was pregnant with her I knew that when she was really kicking it was because she was mad and sure enough, when she gets mad those legs are kick-a-kickin'!

Recovery has been much more long and drawn out than I anticipated. I got a bladder infection a few days after I got home from the hospital and a few days later, developed a Bartholin's cyst. It is a cyst on the gland in your women parts that is responsible for lubrication of the area. I had to have it cut open to drain. Only 2% of women ever get one of these cysts, and I am lucky enough to be part of that percentage. I had one about 4 years ago that didn't hurt nearly as much as this one did. This one felt like it was going to explode every time I stood up. It's been over a week since they cut it open and I am feeling better every day, but I am still afraid at the possibility it could come back as well as the bladder infection. At this point, Keira is still worth all the trouble, but check back with me after the week long growth spurt of hourly feedings! My answer may have changed by then.

Here are my favorite photos from Week 2...

Look at that sad face! lol

She actually enjoys taking a bath.

I caught her smiling!

My little cute bug!

I love her little fuzzy head.

One Week

Today is Keira's one week birthday! I can't believe it's been a week already, and quite an eventful week at that. We got home from the hospital on Monday and the next day we went to her checkup at Kaiser and they told us that her jaundice level at the hospital was borderline high and they wanted to do a blood test to see if it had gone up or down. We got a phone call with the results that evening and they told us her levels were so high that they wanted us to go back to the hospital for 24 hours of light therapy. This news was very unwelcome. In addition to her jaundice levels being high, they told us she had already lost 10% of her birthweight and that's not supposed to happen until about day 6. I also told the doctor that she won't latch on to breastfeed and they determined she has a high palate and weak suck but didn't offer any advice other than to keep trying and supplement with formula. So we went back to the hospital and I cried all night. It was so hard not being able to be with her all the time. Plus, my milk was finally trying to come in, and for those of you who don't know, it feels like lightning bolt cramps shooting from your armpits to your nipples and your boobs turn rock hard and are so sore you can't move your arms. I was SO miserable and just wanted to be home with my baby. Thankfully her jaundice went down by the next evening and we were able to take her home.

With my milk supply lagging, the lethargy caused by jaundice, and baby's inability to latch on, I have been having a heck of a time trying to feed her. Instead of being able to just breastfeed or just bottlefeed, feedings consist of all of the above plus pumping. Every time I try to breastfeed her she gets really impatient and frustrated that she can't latch on and starts crying, and you can't get a crying baby to close their mouth and suck! I have been praying and praying that she will catch on to breastfeeding and she seems to be making some improvement.

On Wednesday night, I was running a fever all night and by morning I realized I had a bladder infection. Back to the doctor again! I was so upset to have more pain and discomfort down there than I already had. I've been taking my antibiotics for four days now and they don't seem to be helping much, but the doctor over the phone is convinced that this antibiotic should work and wants me to keep taking them until I hear from my doctor tomorrow. I'm hoping to feel better soon. I had never put much thought into what recovery from childbirth would be like and it's worse than I anticipated. The first several days I could hardly walk. Now I'm gaining speed, but I'm still in considerable pain especially when I'm standing. Art is getting really impatient with me and has a hard time understanding why I'm not up and running like normal. My response to him was, imagine if you just pushed a melon out of your rectum! You would be in pain too! I think that just because he can't see how I hurt, he can't imagine what it's like.

As far as my labor story, it all started Saturday night after I dropped off my sister at the church dance. I was driving home and noticed I was having a lot of strong contractions. I started timing them at 10:00 pm and they were at 8 minutes apart. I didn't think too much of it yet but kept writing down the times. By 11:30 they picked up to 6 minutes apart, and by 12:30 they were coming every couple minutes. They tell you to wait at home while your contractions are 5 minutes apart for an hour, but mine were getting so fast, strong, and painful that I knew I better not procrastinate getting to the hospital. I texted Art at work and said, "Baby you need to come home now. These contractions are the real deal!" He couldn't believe it. I called my mom and she and Art were at my house by 1:00 am. Art drove like a mad man to get me to the hospital and we arrived at 1:30. At this point it was all I could do to walk and talk between contractions and they were coming every 2 minutes. When they checked me I was dilated to 4 cm. By 2:30 they transferred me to a delivery room and checked me again and I was at 6 cm. By this point I was in a LOT of pain and asked for some pain medication if only to keep Art's hands from being broken from me squeezing them and yelling. They gave me stadol which made me throw up almost immediately and didn't do much for the pain. My water broke on it's own sometime around this point. It was a lot more fluid than I thought it would be! They brought the anesthesiologist in to give me an epidural and it didn't work right even with a double dose. They probably couldn't get it in right because I had such a hard time holding still from the pain of my contractions which were back to back with no break in between. Another hour later and I was dilated to 10 cm when the epidural finally started to take effect and when it did, it almost stopped my labor! The nurse had me try pushing for 15 minutes to see if the baby would come down and she really wasn't moving so they had me rest for an hour while they stopped the epidural so my contractions would come back. It wasn't a very restful hour because every time I would doze off, I would stop breathing then jolt awake to breathe. I was also still very nauseous and throwing up. A new nurse named Terri came in after the hour and had me start pushing again. She came in the room with such a positive attitude and said, "Ok, I can see from your contraction pattern that it's time to get this baby out now!" She told me not to doubt that I can do it, to just focus all my energy on pushing instead of complaining and yelling. I really internalized what she said and even when I thought I couldn't work any harder, I kept going and stayed focused. Thankfully the epidural wore off enough for me to push but not so much that I was in unbearable pain. My mom was holding one leg while Art held the other and I pushed for about 45 minutes. I told them not to peek but I don't think they listened. They were concerned that the baby's heart rate was dropping and I was tired and wanted a way to get her out faster so I suggested using a vacuum. They went and got a doctor and he said it looked like she was running into a bone and we just needed to help guide her head in the right direction. I was probably having such a hard time getting her out because she was born face up. 15 minutes later, with the help of the vacuum and a few more pushes, out came my beautiful baby girl at 8:31 am. I only got one tiny tear and needed a couple stitches. I was in labor at the hospital for 7 hours.

When she was born, I immediately started bawling. I just couldn't believe that was my beautiful baby and that I had created her. She was absolutely perfect from the start. She didn't have a cone head, even with using the vacuum, and she hardly had any white vernix coating on her even though she was one week early. She was not crying and was a little purple so they took her under the warmer to try to get her to cry to increase her circulation. Getting her to cry was not an easy task. They tried suctioning out her lungs and even that wouldn't work. She is too easy going I guess. She had a round blue mark on her left arm that they thought was a bruise at first but when the pediatrician looked at her he told us it is a birthmark called a Mongolian Spot which should disappear within a few years. He said that Mexican babies get them. She had a full head of dark hair which was surprising to me, but it suits her well since her name means dark-haired. Speaking of her hair, it is totally curly when it's wet and straight when it's dry! It will be interesting to see if it ends up curly or not.

As intense as my labor was, I know God lets us experience things the way we need to. It's like the difference between hiking to the top of Half Dome and enjoying the view versus being flown to the top in a helicopter. You get the same reward in the end, but you have a strong sense of accomplishment if you hiked instead of flew. I know now I was not meant to experience a pain free labor and I wouldn't trade my experience for any other. I endured and accomplished more than I ever thought I was capable and I know it was thanks to the support I got from my mom, husband, the nurse, and my Heavenly Father. You wouldn't believe how great of a coach Art was. He was right by me the whole time, talking me through each contraction and each push and reminding me to keep my breathing slow and steady instead of panicking. I couldn't have hired a better helper. He said the worst part of everything was holding the puke bucket for me. In the end, I was soaking wet with sweat and amniotic fluid, and absolutely exhausted but so happy to have my little girl in my arms. It's amazing how fast you can love someone so much. I wouldn't trade her for anything and I would go through that pain for her a hundred times over if I had to.

Keira Evelyn Martinez

Born October 19, 2008

8:31 am

6 lb 7 oz - 19 inches

First Family Picture

Bright Eyed With Uncle Brenty

Grandma and Baby Keira

Ready to Go Home!

More details to follow after I get some sleep!

Bad Butt Skin

I have been living in my apartment for 2 years now, without renter's insurance. I know, shame on me. I have been meaning to get it and looked into it several times, but never followed through with it. Well, maybe it's just that I've been watching the news more since I've been on leave, but I have been noticing quite a few apartment fires. Two of the ones I saw on the news were within a couple miles of my house, and I finally stopped procrastinating and bought a policy through Allstate. There is just no telling what can happen to your house especially living in an apartment complex. Two out of three of the fires I heard about were caused by unattended candle, one was caused by a cigarette, and one was caused by someone running from the police. You have no control over what your neighbors do and one stupid mistake on their part could cost you everything you own. I don't know about you, but I couldn't afford to replace everything I own. My policy is effective as of midnight tonight, so as long as my house doesn't burn down in the next 5 hours I'll be ok. Call me paranoid if you want, but I am also going to buy a fireproof/waterproof safe and do a backup of all of my digital pictures to put in it among other things. I think it will make me feel a little better about life in general to know I'm well insured.

I had my 39 week checkup today. Still at 3 cm and haven't had any significant sets of contractions since my trip to labor and delivery last week. The doctor says she thinks I will have this baby in the next couple days, but she was probably just trying to give me some hope because I looked so miserable. I wish I was as hopeful as she is. I'm exhausted and can't sleep at night, can't stay awake during the day, can't muster the energy to do anything, and am borderline depressed. One of two things needs to happen at this point, either I need to get a really good night's sleep or I need to pop this baby out. I just need some kind of resolution for my sanity.

I was getting in the shower day before yesterday and found big ol' stretch marks on my butt! I thought I had made it through this entire pregnancy without getting any stretch marks, and I guess I was counting my chickens before they hatched. All hell broke loose upon my discovery of the stretch marks. I was BAWLING. It wasn't so much the stretch marks, but a combination of things that caused me to build up a hunk of resentment toward my innocent husband. The stretch marks were just the straw that broke the camel's back. I couldn't understand why it is I have to sacrifice my body, sleep, energy, time, job, etc., and endure stomach acid, weight gain, stretch marks, diminishing self-image, etc., while Art didn't have to sacrifice anything! Then I found myself mad at the baby for not being born a week ago when I went to the hospital because then I would have never gotten these stretch marks! I just can't understand why I got them on my butt and not my stomach, when I know my stomach expanded much more than my butt did! The only explanation is that I was just not blessed with good butt skin, but now I am paranoid that my stomach skin will explode at any moment too which compounds my desire to pop this baby out before any more damage is done. I am now at 145 lbs. from 103 lbs. I realize that I am now barely registering in the normal rage on the BMI charts for my height, but I still feel like a fatty- or at the very least like I'm carrying around a 40 lb. backpack all day every day. Depends on my mood. Oh, the joys of the third trimester.

Limbo

Well, I'm still pregnant. Since my last post, I have had two, 4-hour sessions of labor that started out with contractions at 4 minute intervals or less with some back to back contractions. Then every hour the contractions would slow down by 2 minutes til they stopped! On Tuesday morning I went into labor and delivery because my contractions were so close together and strong but as they monitored me, they slowed down and eventually stopped altogether. That night, the contractions picked back up again at the same rate but I figured I would wait at home for 4 hours to see if they lasted longer than that morning and sure enough they tapered off too.

Fortunately, these contractions have not been in vain. I'm now dilated to 3 cm and baby has dropped down to a zero pelvic station which means she is just about ready to emerge. I'm a third of the way there! The doctors say that it's a good thing that I'm getting most of this early labor out of the way at home because it means I should have a much quicker delivery.

I'm trying to be patient, but it's hard to be when I've already been in some degree of labor twice! I'm hoping that next time my contractions pick up it will be for the long haul. In the meantime, I'm home from work now and I have been SOOOOO tired. I feel like I should be getting all kinds of stuff done around the house since I'm not working but my energy is GONE. Hopefully that fabled "burst of energy" will come and swoop me up soon, because I think I ran down my battery over the past few weeks.

Ready or not, here I come!

I have been having a surprising amount of fairly powerful contractions lately and I was excited to find out whether or not they were doing any "damage" down there. I had my 37 week checkup at the doctor this morning and discovered that I am 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced! Hooray! The doctor was very excited, as was I, and said I could have this baby tonight, this weekend, any day now, and most likely won't last through the next week. I was just glad to hear that the chance she will be camping out in there past her due date is very slim.

I had been trying to prepare Art mentally for an early arrival by explaining to him on numerous occasions that she could show up any time between now and my due date but he didn't believe me. He thought there was no way she would show up early and that I was just overreacting. You should have seen his reaction when I told him the news from my appointment today. Are you SERIOUS? Are they SURE? Did they check? But we don't have a middle name picked out yet! Do I need to stay home from work now? But she isn't supposed to be born for 3 more weeks! Oh, he cracks me up. I told him, "Sorry Baby, but she is coming whether you like it or not!"

Looks like I better finish getting my hospital bags ready! Wish me luck this week!

Before and After

From ugly pine...

To cool black shine...

The baby's corner is finally done! Well, minus a couple missing bolts... See the awesome ladybug knobs??? And the red and black blanket I made for her??? I am SO excited to have this done. Thanks Mom, Lauren, Art, Brent, Vivian, and Kyle for any and all your help with painting, moving, or building the crib and dresser. I thought it would be an easy task, but now I know I couldn't have done it alone!